Saturday, March 14, 2020

moving toward spring, caution....

There was never any reaction to post about the letter I wrote to my parents. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned it, but when I had Christmas Eve with them for dinner I thought it might come up. They never brought it up to discuss so I suppose they understand the situation and that's that. whatever. they're so old, perhaps it's easier not to have ring it over the coals at this point anyway.
Happy Saturday, everyone!  I am officially on Spring Break!! and it's raining so no great wonderful outdoor yard work today, alas! :)  I did go to the gym this morning at 9am. so that is 2 weeks in a row going 6 days a week. whoah.  This last week was all about checking our weight max. I had a max of 225 pounds deadlift, 225 pounds squat, and 3 reps benchpress 165. oh brother, this bird legged 6'.25" at 185 man is doing what I can to stay healthy but glad to see I'm improving a bit of strength while I'm at it.
Thursday, during my 3 classes, I began the first ten minutes wearing surgical work gloves, the clear plastic kind that stop at the wrist. I keep a box handy at homes for dealing with poison ivy or painting etc..   well, anyway, I wore them for the first few minutes of each of my classes.  The first two classes just sort of had some awkward murmuring and the 3rd class, a guy asked me if I was working at Subway Sandwich later... ha.   I took them off and used it to begin a conversation about the looming virus outbreak.  Because we'd just finished writing and turning in a rhetorical analysis, I spoke to them about how we fear what we don't know, and how the media sometimes misuses appeal to pathos. I encouraged them that we'd been learning to depend more on logos and ethos, and to find good sources from experts to learn about keeping healthy and warding off the virus while they can.  I also tried to get them to turn up their young carefree lives up a notch into "zone yellow" and follow through on the good advice of washing hands and avoiding public places for a while.  
My campus actually is not returning after Spring Break, they are having classes online for 2 weeks.  I'm not to optimistic that we will return to classes after that 2 weeks is over, BUT I will keep planning ahead and take each day as it comes at this point.   have 5 classes of papers to grade this weekend and spring break.  one online mythology class and 4 comp classes.  I also hope to get a lot of inside house projects done while on break, since I can't work outdoors on the days its raining. :)
This last MOnday morning, I was eating breakfast and youtube recommended a new Demi Levato song, I watched the video and thought the song and video were over produced, also I wasn't impressed with her using F@(& throughout the song either. instead I rewatched her grammy performance a few time, cried, fed the fish and left for work.  after bed each night this week I've been reading Dickens'  "A Christmas Carol" and finished I think Thursday morning ( I read a bit when I wake up too.)  So again I found myself crying at the part where he is looking back on himself in the past and his girlfriend is breaking up with him, and then I found myself reading again the next night a part which is not in a lot of the movie versions, he is shown his past girlfriend's house in the present and she has beautiful children all over and her husband comes home and is swarmed by them with love and he mentions "I saw your old friend Scrooge" and how unhappy he looked working away. how sad.  the last part which was a happy cry is the ending where he's so excited to not have missed Christmas and is spreading his generosity and enjoying his new self and surprising his nephew who had invited him to dinner.  Such a great little read!  I had bought a souvenir copy when I visited the Charles Dickens museum in London over break and hadn't ever finished reading it.
I"m working on motivating myself to evolve.  that is sort of my "word" for 2020 I've decided.  sometimes I get the feeling that I'm just sitting around waiting to die. I've actually had that attitude for a couple of years now, you  may have sensed it.  and I came to a conclusion a few months ago how ridiculous I've been and instead I should just move forward and create what I want the next many years to be for me in my life.  Having lived in the house 18 years has me motivated to get rid of stuff I've had packed or crammed away and never got to for that one project or event that never came, or something I was hoping to share with the children I never had etc etc... that's my new mindset hopefully which will help me move forward.  the carpet I've been wanting to pull up in this old house and get to the wooden floors, the DIY handy work tiled counter tops in my kitchen by previous ownder that I want replace with charcoal grey granite like product, the walls painted. removing some shelves on one wall.  a new sink in the kitchen.  all these things so that I'm not just living with the same ole old house stuff in here.  get rid of junk and clutter all around!
I'm also making decisions about friendships. I'm trying to guage whether and which friend I should back away from.  I'm still in search a social group I feel comfortable in. I'm not sure how, but I don't think it's too late.  I still and will always have my close OKC friend/s and my AR friend/s of course.  I want to read more, be online LESS, and maybe even get to know the real people in my neighborhood a bit more.  perhaps the next month or so with everyone being right at home will see more neighbors communicating?  maybe more kids will learn card games?  Netflix will HAVE to add some things to watch, come one.  there is bound to be a pregnancy rate increase.  
And I'm also going to be concerned about every time my parents leave their house and anyone that comes to visit them. Just because they are older :) .  If you haven't watched the Joe Rogan interview with the disease expert Osterholm, seek that out and get the best info out there on the virus.

depeche mode....