Friday, July 05, 2013

big fish little fish....

college town visit..........

howdy from the bunk bed in AR where I stayed overnight the last time I was here. ha
I'm at my friends' place.  S the girl I grew up with and went to college to the same college as and her husband J a roommate in college and they have 2 boys. their oldest kid went camping last night with cousins and an uncle so I got to crash here in his room. man I was up late but well worth it, what really sucked is at some point in the middle of the night last night, a car alarm was going off on the street outside their house and at the time I was dreaming away and in my dream I was asleep at my parents home in my old room, and it was as if the neighborhood had been abandoned and someone was trying to wake me up because of a fire. ha I guess the sirens made me thing there was a fire.
last night I had such a great time catching up with an old friend K. She is this gorgeous tall curly haired social worker who lives in Portland so we rarely get to visit. My roommate Kr and I hung out with K and her friend St all the time in college, mainly sneaking drives after lunch to smoke a cigarette, or down to the nearest town with bars to go out to clubs etc... anyway she supervises a methadone clinic now and what an awesome service!
We had a little discussion last night about my buddy in Austin and how I should treat his recovery and how mad I was last time he relapsed and put himself in a dangerous situation etc etc.. After talking with her I decided to be more patient with him and continue support etc.. ANYWAY,  most of the night all of us, btw K came over with my exgf who she's staying with here.  we all talked over dinner and for hours about anyone and everyone we knew in college since we all hung in the same crowd, J was part of a band and we all followed where they played and all their other band friends. including Kr actually.   They drank sangria's most of the night. i didn't.
One interesting thing that came up was while talking about this missionary kid from Africa, and I said to everyone, you know that guy came up to me once during college and said his roommate had seen me at the gay bar in the other town.... (his roommate was some guy that was only there for like one semester and I didn't even know. ha)  anyway, i was telling them how he always kept the secret but how stunned and shocked I was thinking about the one or two times I'd gone there and how secret I thought it was I'd done it.
well then my ex gf said something I never knew, that this girl Susan had come up to her and said the same thing, that she'd seen me at the gay club in the town next over... ha  anyway, I supposed that must have been the first time the ex had an inkling about me after all.(my ex said it pissed her off and all she could think of was what was  susan doing there unless she as also gay, ha)  Susan was/is a lesbian and we ,mentioned about how closeted she was (yeah right, wearing that sports jacket and turtle neck around campus all the time)... and I said how dare she turn in another closet gay!!! ha
anyway, that was years ago, but still pretty funny.  I actually stopped first thing into town at Kr's place. we roomed together one year, and he was in J's band and he is a creative genius guy. I never see him when coming to AR because he's always busy with his freelance design work and also his wife doesn't click with any of the other girls in the groups. just how wives and girls are.  anyway so it'd been a few years since I'd seen him even though he's literally a few blocks over every time I come to town.. he answered the door all smiles and put out a hand, and I said no way a hug! ha ha So that was awesome.and we talked for an hour or so and caught up. ( He's actually had art at a few galleries in California and Seth Rogan and Kristen Wig own some of his work. how bout that!)  I was also great friends with his wife in college but she was at work yesterday, which gave us time to talk about everyone/thing else.
today I'll see my best bud who I worked with during college and hung out all the time with, Je and his wife and 3 kids. tonight I'm having dinner with last night's group at a restaurant in town. tomorrow I plan to see the family of missionaries from Africa that I stayed with in Senegal back in 08.  they are on furlough here for a month.
hope everyone is having a great July 4th weekend. The best thing about coming up this weekend is getting to share the news about my new job this fall at the college. woo ho! :)

Thursday, July 04, 2013

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

July begins.....

you had asked about the DOMA repeal and I wasn't sure what thoughts i should share on this blog if any.  I suppose for all my gay friends who want to get married it's a pretty awesome deal. seems fair to me.
My overall joke last week with friends about the whole deal was that I wanted equality for single people, meaning everyone pay the same tax regardless. I also wonder about how if marriage is a religious thing, then govt shouldn't bother recognizing it with straight or gay couples, if you were to keep govt and religion separate and all that. but those are all just thoughts.
I will share that I think it's incredibly lame to put Bert and Ernie on a cover as a gay couple watching the news as if now they can get married.  I think that's hijacking something meant as an innocent model of fraternity, male friendship, brotherhood, community, by identifying it as gay. you know what, if you need some muppets to identify gay then wrtie sesame street and ask them to do so, don't assumer it's Bert and Ernie just because suddenly natural male bonding and friendship can't be normal anymore and must be assumed gay, that's bull crap.  I pretty much put it up there with momon's praying jewish victims of the holocaust into heaven as mormons now after they're dead..... unjustified and wrong. that's kind of a weird comparison but that's how I see people trying to change something beautiful and non sexual as a gay relationship.
while I'm at it, I have to say that being a guy is pretty awesome, and there are a lot of things we miss out on with male bonding and friendship in the USA because of the ultra macho game guys have to play in order NOT to be seen as gay. It's interesting to me considering for example a muslim arab culture where it's male dominated and guys constantly greet one another with a hug and/or kiss. I've seen men in Afghanistan and India walking hand in hand, stand and hold hands while talking.  I've had afghan students laugh about how I always pulled away my hand first....  I think whether gay or straight, a lot of males miss out on all that physical contact, maybe they substitute the physicality of sports, maybe some males are confident not to care and have no problem with touch and affection.  You can see plenty of guys online very comfortable with their body and touching, tons of videos of guys wrestling around around parading around naked, whipping it out and joking about.. .none of that is necessarily gay. just guys being guys..... anyway, those are just thoughts about he whole bert and ernie thing and stuff that bothers me about our culture.
I'll have to say here, it all stems from a dad who was no physical and grew up on a farm and an older brother who I was never friends with or felt I could count on.  I always dreamed of having my own kids where I'd raise my boys to really stick up for each other and remember family first. like I'd seen in other families where brothers were friends and sure fought sometimes but also played and talked and supported the other etc as someone to count on etc.... I had really hoped I could raise boys differently than what I had with my father and brother.  which I don't blame for any of it, we were just a different family, my dad was raised in a pretty serious Christian home like I said on a farm, and my mother had brothers that fought constantly so she thought it was normal for brothers not to get along.  (funny thing is her brothers are actually very close as adults.) families are all jsut so different alas. nothing you can do...  I do often wonder if I'd had just a bit more encouragement or confidence built from my dad or brother, but my mom will say I was so energeitc and outgoing and all over the place I wouldnt' have listened anyway.. but I don't know.
change of subject, more boring updates, my week is going well. I had 21 students turn in an essay yesterday, all of which I graded today to hand back tomorrow. also did a bit of yard work today and while I was at it, I took my tiller up to the small motor shop to get fixed. I also stepped on a nail yesterday that went right through my Sanuk shoe sole and what I thought between my ring and pinkie toe... until I felt it a bit wet and then squishy in my shoe. so I took it off and sure enough the nail hit the middle of my ring finger toe and scraped off some skin as it slid up betwen that toe and the pinkie toe. I washed it off pretty good and put on hydrogen peroxide, dried it up and put on a bandaid which I've been changing about two or three times a day, after I swim or shower. ha  
worked out chest yesterday and had a stock club meeting right after. stocks are doing well and we decided to buy into the Canadian ATT company, i forget the name of it. I remarked about my CKEC stock and how I wanted sell what I had to pay off half my truck, and then how I was glad I hadn't since it went up about 2 dollars since then. ha  today I worked out legs and then came home and finished those papers. then more yardwork.  I'm looking forward to getting out of town this weekend. I have a moving furniture job Thursday mroning and then I'll drive up to AR to see my best bud J and his wife and kids, spend some quality time and then also see my ex gf and another friend who is coming in from Portland, also will see other friends while in town. also I plan to drive over to Roger and see my okc buddy S and his bf B who lives in Rogers. that should be fun and interesting.  hope every one is getting geared up for a fun fourth.  I was going to go to gran lake with my Austin buddy H but he wasn't able to make it this year and instead invited me down to Austin for the weekend, but I hadn already promised the ex gf that I'd come to AR if the gran lake thing didn't work out. ciao

hardy boys... hardy har har....

Learning to Truly Love Our Gay Son

Article about a family and son who were all trying to pray for a change in his orientation from age 12, and it lead to him abusing drugs. sad story but if you feel like reading it, here is a link at Just Because He Breathes...

Sunday, June 30, 2013