Saturday, July 16, 2011

hotties out on the weekend...

definitely picks up at the water park on weekends, more likely to have hot groups of guys out there, big guys with gf's or kids and dads, I dunno but during the week there seems more like teenager kids and families and I guess you notice the fat people more.. I'm glad the weekend brings all muscles and bulges in the right places. the ladies too much better shape, I'll admit I still notice a great pair in a bikini and some you just can't help notice , whoah. Does that mean I want to be with those women? does it mean I want to be with every one of those hot guys? probably not. some guys I just notice the body I never had in highschool/college, or the macho charm and ease I wanted at that age, maybe even now. ha... so is it that I want to look like those guys or really interested in getting naked with 'em.. and what does it prove exactly anyway if I could have 'em.
though guys wearing gym shorts as a swim suit still remains a caveat.. wah wah..ghetto.
well anyhow, I"m making it through summer and the over 100 temps since June feels like. I only have 2 weekends left before school starts back up here Aug 2nd.I'm going to be so ready for fall break and have been thinking about some sort of travel plans, I"d love nothing more than to return to Barcelona, but was thinking I should go somewhere I haven't been before. I am considering also Thailand, but my teacher friends just moved there a month ago and may not be ready for visitors first year first semester.
Randy Roberts Potts, gay grandson of tv evangelist Oral Roberts, speaks this morning at a Unitarian church it Tulsa. read the TUlsaWOrld article or check the church link here.I had planned on attending both services, but after the unplanned trip up to AR and back to see my bud's new baby, I didn't get papers done and have to work this afternoon and thought I'd better not try to do all the driving back and forth. THE GREAT THING is that the services are streamed on the net so I can tune in after church for the 11:30. woot woot! go Randy, his blog is linked at the right----> VOules VOus..
I've been thinking a lot lately about me ever getting married or not, and as usual comparing would I want to be with a guy or girl. I was wondering if I'd miss never having a "mom" around again if I didn't marry a girl. you know there is one thing about a guy/girl chemistry with the sort of nurturing you get from a girl and then the sort of protector/provider the guy kicks in with. I'm not saying that's completely true across the line for everyone, just an idea of pairing up for the rest of my life that I always found attractive. I know a lot of divorced gay guys that said they never could continue with it or completely regretted it (other than kids) etc etc, but since I already sort of tried everything I wanted to with guys and have had my fun, I think I could handle getting married to a girl if I were in love. ON the other hand if I were truly in love with some guy, maybe it would also work, but doesn't that mean it would eventually end up with one of us wanting to go all the way with sex.. 'cause that doesn't interest me much, and I hate to think we'd get bored doing everything else that eventually we'd want to because on this end of it, I'm just not into it.
I think it's great for guys who can full out pair up with a guy and be happy as a lark, and if guys need to be that raging top or power bottom guy and that fulfills them like nothing else, great go for it. and for guys who are two peas in a pod and feel like the fulfill that husband wife role OR are fine with the husband/husband roles also great great. I guess I grew up with too many sisters I sometimes feel like I need a bit of women's input in my life. I know I have a lot of issues on the whole thing, but remember that as black and white as you think straight and gay are, and if people are born with it or not etc.. there is definitely a scale of sexuality out there. I know too many gay guys that have slept with women, lesbians that sleep with men, and straight guys that have tried a thing or two etc.. big freaking deal. Just not ready to put myself in any box just yet.
there are definitely some guys that can't jump into that box soon enough. I dunno if the femininity comes naturally with some gay guys or if they decide they can act that way just to put on a big show for the world to KNOW THEY ARE GAY. probably it's natural for some, others I dunno. for example how normal some guy acts around his family or certain friends, and then around others is flaming away. what's up with that... I believe it's the same as guys who act super macho in front of the dudes or at a bar compared to normal with family or friends at home etcc.
ok sociology discussion over. have a good SUnday everyone.


Anonymous said...

if the guys of the water park looks like the one in the first and top pic of your blog, I can understand why it's frustrating to just see them.

Anonymous said...

Some questions you should ask yourself, are you capable of falling in love, are you somewhat asexual, do you feel comfortable being physically and emotionally intimate with another person, male or female?

I know in the past you have said you like to watch straight porn, but watching two young attractive people have idealized sex is not the best indicator of sexual orientation, or should I say dominant orientation? Also, who could say that your not more attracted to the young male in those films, and enjoy watching them behave like a young straight male? Are you unbiased enough to make that determination about yourself? Maybe you watch for the fantasy of wishing you had such strong macho hetero desires as the male porn actor your watching, hero worship as you call it? You clearly like to watch strong alpha males and their habits (at water park, your blog pics, military) just as Jane Goodall watches chimps. The difference is that those straight alpha males go to extremes to hunt, seduce, and breed with women, they are driven, its a strong urge that you don't have.

You talk a lot about marriage and children as if you just have to decide on a label for yourself , and then it will happen some how. Do you think it can be that easy? Have you had a romantic relationship as an adult? Have you had a fourth date within the last 10 years, or a third date? My point is that if you continue to wait, life really can pass you by, so why not get into some talk therapy with someone experienced in this area. Its just talk and a few insurance co-pays, not like it is going to kill ya. However, the stress and possible depression over such unresolved issues just might shorten your life.

Anonymous said...

Surrender Dorothy.