Saturday, June 21, 2008

good clean film......

I watched the movie "Lars and the Real Girl" this weekend and it's awesome. first of all, ryan gosling does an excellent job, as does the whole cast. The film was really clean and sort of down to earth, like a real look into a family without all the added drama and plot twists usually thrown in to some drama. Along the lines of Junebug actually.
Lars is this quiet guy who lives next to his brother and sisterinlaw who are wanting to set him up, but he's too shy, and then he orders this girl online. He becomes delusional and so everyone acts as if she's real to sort of help him try and get over it. Man what a great flick, I was thinking about this guy, like why he was shy, and all the other issues, and then through the whole thing making him and his brother deal with family stuff and each other a little bit.
I also really like the part of the married brother and wife. It really made me think about the difference of living with a guy a girl someday, like the way the brother moves over to the couch to snuggle up to the wife for some comfort, there was something about that scene very much made me want to be with a woman not a man. I wondered if there are some sort of things that only a woman or man could give, the whole gay straight thing etc...
Of course the other thing about he movie is how lonely Lars is and how ridiculous his situaion is, and you see him sort of suffering and realizing it and feeling the pain of still being single etc.... I was thinking he is emotionally substituting with a fake doll, and whether I'm living in limbo substituting with porn. well better that than -- [ED. No worse than...] a straight or gay guy who substitutes with random hookups I guess.
has anyone seen the movie? any comment? otherwise, put it on your rental list some night for a really good light film.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

happy ending....

I don't want to stereotype of anything, but the bedroom here and and the pink balloon? does anyone know if Mika is "out" or what, any relation to Leo Sayer? ha ha
anyway, I saw this video at the gym here on base and I had to post it because of the part where the stuff animals are animated singing. I just think it's cool.
When I was a kid I remember at some point having 2 stuffed animals, a dog and bear, and how I would make sure to sleep with them in turns. I really thought that it made the other feel jealous or left out. I remember really believing that the one left on the floor I had to pat on the head to assure I remembered it was still there. and it was ok if I left them both on the floor to keep each other company if I just slept with them. I'm sure I was pretty young at the time, but still its funny to think what I imagined them actually thinking or feeling at the time. ha, there's probably a birth order reason of me being the 4th of 5 kids in there somewhere.

somebody's moving forward....

came across this new blog I thought I should share with readers, since the recent surveys shows lots of closet and in between readers. The blog is titled Stand Straight and Step Forward, which I find exremely clever. This guy decided to quit living the same ole lonely single closet life and just get up and move out to WeHo to find out what the gay life is all about. I look forward to reading his experiences of doing something a lot braver than I've ever considered doing. check it out and give some comment love to the guy.

not to mention he's got some great taste in music. Keane, Jimmyeatworld, Switchfoot, ahh yeah....

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Monday, June 16, 2008

light fun? gay culture confusion?

i was reading THIS POST ON GAY BANKER BLOG last weekend. It hits the nail on the head for me about the confusion of what I like with guys. I am pretty much the same style when it comes to looking for action with a guy, light fun, not completely into the whole sex thing. And I understand completely the whole thing about being overwhelmed/turned off/confused/disheartened by the whole -top/bottom exactly what i like and don't like in detail sexually- ads posted online....
Yeah.... i get it... for the quick fix of man on man physical action, it definitely helps to find what you're looking for. But on the other hand for guys wanting to touch another dude without going all the way, and then the whole question of what is gay, and does that mean jerking with dudes, sucking off with dudes, or going all the way and having full out sex, I guess it's all gay but then again what if its only physical and nothing you'd want to live with. In which case it comes down to the heart and not the dick. Just thoughts. but you can read the post yourself I thought it was interesting.

I check out craigslist ads now and then just for the pics, and in about every city you always see the same thing, a bunch of guys expressing it clearly they want a masculine not "gay-scene" dude, possibly a regular sort of thing. Does that mean that being gay is still seen as non-masculine? or is it the fear of closet guys that make them think gay is non-masculine? Obviously there are plenty of these guys around, they jsut have a hard time getting connected. Perhaps there are more guys these days coming out and just being the same any type of guy, but also gay. In comparison to the generalization of coming out, hitting the gay bars, surrounding yourself with only gay friends, etc etc. There must be a conflict with some guys who equate coming out as gay as taking on the entire stereotyped lifestyle. And these guys choose to stay in the closet, desperately seeking other "straight acting, discreet" dudes online, and perhaps those who actually connect emotionally and not just physically for hookups find the courage to come out a llittle. anyway, check out the blog, I enjoyed the post. keep up the good work, gay banker!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

taking it off for the cam...

and the countdown begins.....

I love my new workouts. As awful as living here can be somtimes, the monotony and the distance etc.., I can't imagine ever being happier at another gym, when it comes to the company there. ha a bunch of international troops yucking it up daily, gee whiz, gym inspiration.

I have been wondering if anyone has an opinion on chest hair, I considered maybe losing it all this summer later, I mean what little there is, only if my chest continues to improve. but I'm not sure if its worth the trouble to bother because i still have the bit of hair sort of going from the abs down and I'd rather just leave it all. man i hope I continue to do daily abs when I get back to the states. I have 3 months left to my contract here and getting more excited each week that passes. although I'll still have a month to kill travelling. the good news I have a friend studying in London this fall which gives me a person to stay with there. shweet.

there are two guys in the gym, younger belgian guys, that I can't get enough of. you ever see guys that are completely good looking, and you think, why isn't this guy being discovered somewhere. man I've been on base too long. good news is only 3 months left, til the end of our contract and then I'll be travelling for a month until i can return to the US after 330 days tax exemption. I have a friend studying in London this fall so definitely will be checking it out again.