Friday, February 16, 2007


just got back from teh bar with my str8 bud from college who's engaged, we got a boys night sort of, went to see little miss sunshine at the museum movie theater downtown. then to "cock of the walk" on western. a pretty cool old time bar with a mixed crowd, saw a guy that know's me from the gay bar in okc, but no big deal. There was a girl that came up to us when we got up from the bar to leave and she asked us if we were taken or not and would we like to meet her friends, and my bud said well he's free but I"m engaged and that we were leaving anyway etc..... we had a great talk at the bar, talked about his wedding coming up and job and people in the bar etc.. thought i caught some guys checking me out but you never know in okc, sometimes you just think you see someone you know. I'm terrible at picking up on guys interested seriously.

I was discussing with my parents today about my trip to NYC next weekend. And I thought about how really, just admitting to my family that I'm going to NYC alone, is one small step to coming out in a way, I mean know it really means nothing, but to me, it's like a big step to just admit I'm going up there alone to have fun all weekend. I can only wonder and imagine what they must be thinking, for example am I secretly meeting someone that I haven't mentioned ( Like I would have been doing if tampa bud would have come to meet me), or do they think I'm checking out gay bars, etc.. anyway I guess I fell suspicious in general going up there a single guy alone. maybe they don't suspect a thing, but I pretty much fell liek they must wonder jsut a little bit.

while jogging around the track this afternoon I even considered writing a letter this summer. If i do go to NYC and cape cod for july 4th weekend this ummer, I hate the idea of lying to my family about where I'll be or who with. I'm proud of my friend from awesome who has chosen to live completely sober. And he'll be perfect to ahng out with that weekend. So anyway, I just want to tell the truth if and when the time comes. My parents know he's gay and just a friend from OKC that I've kept in touch with and discuss my faith with etc... But it would be ridiculous to tel lthem I'm going to cape cod for the weekend July 4th ( which is when my sis always throws a big family pool party each year) with my friend from Austin without some sort of letter explaining my situation. Even if It's not a coming out letter, it would be a letter explaing that I have not come out for al lthe reasons why I haven't and then something about the weekend just being time away at a vacation house and relaxing on the beach.

So i was just surprised that I would even consider it, it was pretty scary even imagining what I'd say to them and how they'd react. I imagined myslef right away saying something in the letter along the lines of " you must never discuss this with me" and then I imagined how angry I would be if they ever brought it up or asked me about it. that's so ridiculous. obviously I'm not ready, but just the consideration was a hint of some move needed this year.

I don't know maybe I'll have to fall head over heels for someone before I'm really ready to come out with out kicking and dragging and screaming. ha. jsut some thoughts.
good weekend to all. I'm choosing what to pack all weekend and buying a small travel umbrella and going to research more on what I should do next weekend in NYC.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

dublin swimmers

hapy vday everybody

hot guy at gym alert.
nah just playing, but there were actually 2 hot guys I was checking out, one big tall well worked out latin guy in the shower who was striking up a conversation with me (sure sign), well and he took his towell off and continued to talk to me before going to his locker.. hmmm maybe see him again and see what's the deal.
the other guy is this younger bulky blond haired guy, sort of a nordic iowa looking guy, so white and smooth, anyway, he's shy but always glances my way just a little at the lockers, and in the showers he's like me and faces the shower head only. but had a nice butt I have to say...
Nice enough Valentines day. Growing up my mom always had something special at the breakfast table on Valentines morning, and that's not easy with 5 kids, I realize now of courses. but I grew up always starting it off as a nice day. Today I live alone and pretty much could care less today. BUT I know the day whenever it comes that I have someone special during Valentines day to love on, I'll go crazy with all the cheese of hearts and flowers and special breakfasts and dinners. and I've got a lot of years to make up for that's for sure. ha.

I've been sitting here eating chocolate at work tonight, even though I'vebeen trying to lay off sugar for a while, I have no discipline when its easily accessible jsut laying around on the tables, and the secretaries offering me etc..
I DID work out arms and chest monday, and legs hard yesterday, and then I swam today for 20 minutes. I miss the summer when I'm off work and can work a full hour and do all the workouts I can think of for a certain muscle or group. really get it fatigued out. I have been taking a glutamine supplement this past couple month, but I am going to wait until after the NYC trip to start also taking Creatine. it helps me increase weight and break out of a rut of the same weight. I will stay on that until the week before Spring break (i plan to visit Austin for SXSW music festival down there.) The reason for not taking Creatine before NYC is that it makes you retain water and I feel like it makes me "puffy" looking although I'm prolly the only one that notices the dif.

some news: I'm not going to get too excited until we have it all set out, but my buddy in Austin has invited me along for fourth of July weekend to Cape Cod. it will be a few days in NYC with a friend of ours who lives there, and apparently his boss has a plane that we are using to fly up to his boss's place on cape cod. hmm one must wonder what's up with that. the cool thing is it will be just the 3 of us. I can never imagine getting to go on a private plane and staying up east for fourth of July, so that'll be something to look forward to this summer. Does anyone know is there like a gay scene at Cape Cod that weekend or what?

UPDATE: never mind, actually, provincetown i guess is a scene....

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

peyton manning

on lettermn tonight, its a great and fun and funny interview, make sure you catch it if reading blog tonight. man something about tall athletic guys....Peyton Manning - 6'6 and 240.... mmm

the Kooks, "Ooh la"

really been into this band lately, always listening to radio at work....

busy tues night, can we skip tomorrow please.

my boss has me working on a project on the computer tonight, finding what other tech schools/colleges in OKC are offering for classes in Spanish-- mainly how to speak customer service Spanish. There is a company wanting us to teach a class to all their thousands of workers from 9-5 for 3 weeks how to speak spanish to people about their bills. well as someone with a masters in Education in the area of Language Acquisition, I can tell you it ain't gonna work. I mean you could learn a lot in three weeks, exercises and drills and all, but the hard part is hearing the people speak fast and in many different Spanish accents. Also lets say someone does great in the class, but then has no interaction until a month or two after the class, by then the class is not fresh on their mind, and they won't remember unless they've activelly been seeking it out and using Spnaish daily after the classes. FOr example if someone wanted to rush through 3 weeks of classes and RIGHT AFTER go to Spanish speaking envrinment, yes it would help. but this company has no idea what its asking us to try and do. all right, boring post but I had to share it with somebody. Also, btw, this sort of goes in my usual gripe file about WHY ARE WE NOT EXPECTING THEM TO LEARN ENGLISH if they are going to live here like all the previous immigrants who came to America the "melting pot", yet instead our future in this country is that we will be paid to learn Spanish like it or not if we want a job. guarantee it....
luckily I already speak Spanish...but that doesn't mean I have to like all the change. ha!

just had to share these pics.....

it's a nipple thing. (Mike, notice the guy is pierced, but I'd still never do it)

political humor , if interested....

I check this site out every now and then,Get Your War On, the guy doesn't update very often. anyway, if you stay up just a little bit with world news, this guy does a comic strip. It's more profane than what I usually would appreciate, but I do apprieciate his dry sarcastic wit, regardless of it being left or right politically.

Monday, February 12, 2007

new york new york

less than two weeks til NYC. man I'm getting excited to check it out. I haven't heard anything from Tampa buddy, so I figure he's not going to meet me there, what sucks is I would have bought my show ticket for Firday night and not Saturday afternoon had I known he wasn't really wanting to go. ahh well, live and learn!
I haven't officially heard from him a confirmed no, but no longer getting my hopes up. I plan to take a lot of cash, the guidebook says all the bars take cash only, what's up with that? will be great to get away, I already have a small stack of things I'm going to wear on the trip set aside to pack up. if only I could arrive in a nice tight red tracksuit.....overall I plan to just have a blast checking out the city, the clubs, few shows and museums possibly. etc etc etc.... 23rd is coming up!! ahh yeah!!

who likes to swallow???

the bufumufu guy is back home and got a haircut...

no idea what they're saying, obviously something about drinnking.....

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Dan's favorite things 1 .........

I brought these chairs back from Central America. Each summer or Christmas break I'd bring back two together in a box with the seats facing each other and all my clothes and random things stuffed all around them inside a box. When I first started working at the school there, we had chairs just like this around some of the tables in the old library and then I had a few in my classroom I'd sit in every now and then when in front of the classroom. So they are a good reminder of my 3 years there. I bought myself a few of them whenever we'd visit the market in the cheaper part of the capitol city where we actually only went shopping in groups (for safety). What I liked about these chairs other than the rustic look and all, is that they were handmade with this animal hide stretched across the seat and each chair cost $6 when converted to dollars. The little one on top was to give to my niece or nephew but somehow I ended up keeping it.

some army dude, and more CL pics from LA.....

surely he realizes...........

I pick up some extra $ working the ACT test my my school on saturday morning every couple of months. here is a THANK YOU for the small thrill, to the senior male student in the front row. First of all, not like I'd even look at a high school kid or ever consider anyone 18. but you can't help notice a hot situation, and it made me think how unaware of guys I was right up til halfway to college. And what I mean by unaware of guys is that I was enver aware of anyone checking out my bluge or noticed any guys in their jeans, how big the bulge was or what side it was hanging etc... of course later in college I started looking. anyway, this guy in the front row, prolly not yet 18, but a big solid tall size, broad shoulders, brown hair, yeah I know he's young and all, but typical highschool kid he's got on a Hollister hoodie, jeans and flip flops (although it was 32 yesterday morning). I don't have any foot fetish but I can definitely admire some nice solid strong feet on a guy, sort of like admiring an awesome model of Ford mustang car. This guys feet- long, white, thick toes, solild and smooth. but that's not what I was staring at all morning. I'm sitting at the table in front of the room, and all the students are facing me in rows of desks spread out 3 feet apart. well that position gives you a sort of perfect veiw at everyones crotch. and the guy in the middle row right in front of me, you couldn't help notice his jeans. the guy had an open rip in his crotch. Right from where the seam curves down on the left and meets the middle seem. from there and going down about 4 or 5 inches out down the left leg to the seam inside the leg. a rip and a view. dang I mean he'd move around all day sometimes legs srpead sometimes together, sometimes his left arm in his lap reaching down with his hand under his right leg. I wasnt' staring but I took a few glances throughout the morning. grey boxer briefs. white white smooth skin right up inside the inner thigh, the part that doesn'teven tan in the summer. nice. there was too much shadow inside in the middle to see any outline of his dick or anything, but just the skin and veiw of the breifs was pretty hot. at one point I was looking and then looked up to look at the class in general and saw caught eyes with a girl in the class, and I was thinking, oops is it obvious to anyone that my eyes are opinted at this guys crotch. School girls have serious gaydar, not in the sense of knowing if someones gay, but extremely sensitive to their territory of guys is getting checked out by another guy, OR if a guy gets attention they think they should be getting from a guy. my theory anyway......
I wasn't thinking of the guy like all sexually, just thinking what a sexy look it was, and how some guys I don't think are aware of what they are showing. I know I never gave it a thought up until end of college when my roomates were noticing and joking with me more about the size of my dick. But this guy, I was just thinking how hot it would be if maybe a year later in college, at the wrong or right college party, some dude sitting next to him starts reaching in.. ha. maybe going to consider that later.........