Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
SO the reason I bring it up is the guy was HOT, worked out gym bod, some hair on his chest all white and smooth and w/ like this straight guy gold chain around his neck. anyway the deal is, he was married. and I went over anyway.
My Austin buddy later called me out on it. And we had a big discussion, he said, you don't think it s a big deal because you as a Christian think the homosexual act is a sin already so you don't care adding another sin to that by messing with a married dude. and it bothered him because he says homosexual or straight marriage is a marriage and should be honored. And that I shoudl be comfortable acting out with guys, but not married guys!.... it makes me love him more that we can be close enough to hold me accountable on stuff like that, because seriouslylwe never bring up my conservative points of view compared to his different views on things ever. on purpose on my account anyway. ha
But I decided to make it a point from ten on to steer clear of married guys after our conversation, because of integrity I guess, and the fact that now that he's been in recovery he does believe in a higher power and that's important to me because i pray for my friend and want to be nothing but supportive, and how can he have any respect for my faith if he sees me messing with married guys which he sees as wrong, regardless of his faith matching completely with mine.... (still with me?)
the above is a preface, because I wanted to mention this blog I read today about bagging a straight guy, which i found interesting over at Falling off a log - blog. There are some points listed about how to stand and act which I found pretty amusing. I guess, because, well you know how some closet dudes are constantly trying to overcompensate on how NOT to look gay.. .. and then you train yourself so that you don't even know what is acting normal or acting over masculine/not gay. check it out if interested.
AS for hot pics of guys married/straight/or not.... this is THE WEEK to be on craigslist. guys travelling all over, people out of town, off work with lots of extra time. THis week was always my luckiest for finding a hot dude when looking on craigslist back when i discovered it online and lived alone.... i'm not saying go hook up on craigslist, but check some big cities and see what guys are posting out there.... filter through the Bull Crap and weird stuff, but in the mix, you always find the sort of not quite sad, but sort of dismaying posts by "bi" or "straight" guys demanding HOT STRAIGHT acting guys to mess with etc...... always makes me wonder do they ever really find their dream "straight" masc hot muscle guy for fun on the side??? maybe in LA or larger cities but I have to think more often not, or they are gay and looking for the str8 type, or they only meet gay guys who try to fake bi so they can hook up with said dude. anyway, now I'm rambling.... but I hope this post gets some constructive and discussive comments.
everyone ready for a new year?
Friday, December 28, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
GAY BANKER. Check it out, smarto and interesting. I was reading all these letters he receives and what he has to say to readers asking about closet stuff, also it's intersting about having more than one boyfriend. that is how my friend in Austin has always lived, never just one.
anyway check it out if time to do some surfing.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
ALSO I remember being home at Christmas for the holidays and since I was closet and not with a serious girlfriend (thats right the "one that got away" was just married a month before I left usa, and for the record she broke up with me 4 years ago this dec 28th, not that it pulled the rug from under me or anything.. I seriously thought she was the one i could make it all work out with....and yeah i know some readers will say we are better off not living some "lie"..... but anyway.) and also not with a serious boyfriend, since I was not commiting to being gay or straight, both are hard to find. And something about the holidays makes you want to be with someone, for me it was the break from teaching at school, and all those cold winter mornings i wanted to lay in bed and wake up next to someone I loved. or just sit back with someone right next to me on the couch watching a movie or something. and new years is even worst, drinking it up at a bar is all right, but if alone, I feel like you might as well sleep through it until you have someone to kiss at the midnight hour.
anyway, so all this to say, the Holidays, we must remember can be lonely times, even for the guys who may be out to everyone in life except family, and then they are stuck spending all this quality time with people they love but feeling they will never truly be understood. Well i don't mean to whine or anything, but I know that's why I always keep myself so busy at the holidays, projects aroung the house, traveling, getting in touch with my church single group and doing all their activities. all good ideas I guess to help get one through.
THe one thing is I've quit expecting the new year to bring any big change. I sort of just try to keep true to my Christian protestant faith regardless of the time of year.
I love all these other blogs because these are guys in college or fresh out of college and they are decisive and brave and commit to goals of coming out and getting on with life. It's great to live sort of vicariously through all of them, like a dream of what i could do, or should have done long ago. ha
So to all closet readers out there, who are still inbetween and maybe fishing around the internet and feeling more closeted than usual because it's the holidays, I wanted to say I know exactly how you may feel.
all in good time.
Enjoy this wonderful time of the year, this limbo week of people in and out of town between the 25th and new years...
Sunday, December 23, 2007
and a shout goes to the italain table at breakfast this morning. all roman gods. dark haired just right tan skin and dark eyes with every feature round and perfect, I'm serious i was looking at 3 or 4 of them different heights. one stood out because his fatigue pants fit him just right, all hard and round behind, and nice round bulge right in front. viva italia!
all right now for some personal blogging...... Merry Christmas everyone!!! I hope no matter where you are or who you are with these next 2 days, that you are with someone you love and that you are in the holiday spirit enough to give a gift, if not then perhaps just giving yourself or your time to help others enjoy the season. it's funny, to my students the day is absolutely nothing to them of course. I'll be working normal tomorrow and then only the first half of Tuesday, so the students will like getting extra time off. although i'd rather keep teaching them because the test comes the same day regardless. ha
worked out my back and shoulders yesterday, and am actually getting acclimated pretty well to the altitude here ( 6800 feet above). Ran 2.5 miles today on the treadmill. always fun to see who's at the gym of course some guys there very day. last Friday i took a certification test to be able to drive on the runway across the airport to the other side where our school is, I guess we'll be taking turns driving and calling the air tower on the radio for clearance to pass through on the runway.
My students are pilots but remain very poor, kabul has not electricity after 8 pm, so they are very cold all night and without and light. Some students speak of doing homework to lanterns. i suggested candles today when they complained of the homework. I told them i understand life is difficult, and I only want to encourage them to do what they CAN do. We are on very good terms and they are all amazingly nice men, all older than me actually but completely respectful. They do not like the book quizzes but i keep telling them, dont' worry I will prepare you. its very rewarding to be in my classroom just teaching and teaching, time goes by very fast.
down time at the base if cool because I can go to the gym, and then eventually go to the mess hall for dinner.
Tomorrow there is Christmas market in the UK tent, and then the 25th we will be free after lunch. There is special church service planned at 3pm in the chapel and then a special Christmas dinner begins at 4pm for the base. should be interesting because I know it's a big party drinknig nht for the Europeans on base. I plan to get online that night and find my family online to chat with, and then they are supposed to email me pics of them unwrapping the gifts I left etc.....
again, happy Holidays to all readers! This last weekend was funny going to work and teaching each day because in the states, i know I'd be trying to do a hundred things the weekend before Christmas normally. ha.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
it was middle of the night, 1 a.m. and then they come back by and keep yelling " incoming, everyone downstairs" ... so I jump out of bed, fumbling for what should I put on, i decided jeans, strip off my pj's I'm sleeping in, throw on some jeans commando style, and throw on a seatshirt and coat. sockas and puma sneakers. We all go downstairs and they get account of everyone, then say turn off all lights. All the officers here are in their IBA ( individual body armor), but not us teachers because we shipped ours here and its not here yet....
anyway, the ISAF base military police drive by with a siren on their truck and tell us everyone needs to go to the bunkers. SO we all go to the bunkers, half the group has to go to another because people are already in there and we fill it up with 40 max. dang it was cold in there waiting for ever with the base sirens going off every 15 minutes. half of them in there were belgian soldiers, and some of 'em would take tunrs standing near the door way smoking a cigaretter. also a few french in there, one italian and canadian, and two icelandic older ladies. and this one american contractor who was older and HOT and was fireman and owns a bar on base ( we are going to research what that means or what he does etc...). so only the American servicemen had on the body armour.
the fireman dude had the phone to the radio to air and kept calling in the number of people waiting outside our bunker and they'd tell him where to send the people to fill up another bunker with room. anyway they were joking a lot at one point about how this guy was going to have to hook up to this major standing next to him, lots of joking, the iceland chick at one point said, yes i'd like to watch. ha ha, of course many guys in there said, eww gross. ha ha, although they'd joke too whent he lights went out like "mm skoozi skooozi"... a line from the movie Euro trip, which the guys here on base have all seen several times and love.
Anyway, over all i hated it because I was getting cold in only jean although my top was warm, my feet and legs were getting cold. plus i killed my legs in the gym yesterday so it sucked having to stand up for an hour and a half, at 2:30 am we got the all clear to return. went straight back to sleep.....
We found out this morning it was due to some intelligence about a threat, although they said it turned out to be not any threat after all. better safe than sorry I suppose.
made for good conversation this morning with people on base i will say.
Monday, December 17, 2007
oh here's some news, yesterday we had to go to school late because on the afghan side of the base there was machine gun fire ( our school is on the other side of the runway on the afghan base side) so we had to wait about half an hour before leaving to see what the deal was. finally had the all clear and my students told me later, it was a suicide bomber attempting to come in the gate on base, and he was shot down and killed. some 14 y/o kid. my students told me it was prolly an arab or pakistani... but whoever it was, obviously some poor kid brainwashed by the taliban. sort of sad, although of course we wish to remain safe. My boss says he was shot down about the same place on the sidewalk where we were all standing around last week outside the airport gate with our luggage waiting for transports to take us to the lockheed martin compound when we first arrived. wow. I'm glad I'm living and working on base. I'm waiting for my body armour to arrive (we shipped it UPS from ft benning) and we cant' leave base until we have our armour. otherwise i coudl go check out the other bases in the city, which means american food, and just change of scenery in general.
was 3 days and counting last night, took an extra long shower if you know what I mean, and I tell ya what after waiting more than 3 days, I'm standing there in the shower completely at attention and feeling like a freaking porn star..... but i have good self control and once or twice a week should be fine for me. although the more I run and workout the "healthier" i feel .....ha
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
gym is something different everyday to see and I like it.
sat at lunch and actually spoke with some Beligums today. was real nice, the one across from me was this shaved head bald guy I've been watching for a while in the gym, big ole bulge in his nerdy spandex but he's all hard and rounded off and in good shape etc... anyway we finally struck up some conversation at some point about languages and imigration etc.. fun fun. huh
nothing else to say here on this closet gay blog today, other than sharing a room really sucks, but I'm taking care of business, if you know what i mean, in the shower about every 2 or 3 days, but dang it has to be so quick. .. ah well, no prob for now I guess.
Friday, December 14, 2007
There were four Danish guys next to me at lunch today and they all had long shaggy beards and long 70s hair, and I swear there was one tall and built like freaking TOm of finland... even with the beard , you could see his big eyes and strong features made him quite the looker.
Also these dark haired little French and Italian guys in their fitted uniforms.... hmmm
However the Czech girls remain the hottest, a USA bud here was telling my how you'll see no regulation style haircuts or facial hair on other countries and how it makes sense when you consider we are one of the few countries that has a volunteer armed forces. Not like countries where it's mandatory everyone does an amount of time, thus explaining why some of the Czech nurses show up with nose rings. etc...
went to the chapel today for church service, about 8 people and the chaplain convoys in every Friday from camp Phoenix to give a message at the protestant service. I think there is also some sort of other service given but the flyer was in a foreign language, and then somebody else mentioned there is a mormon service at the other base. fyi
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Ok the belgiums, LOTS of them here on base now, imagine seeing an average group of people from 20-40 no one overweight or too thin, most or all are brunette, men and women both, none spectacularly good looking, and put them all in fatigues. that's the beliums, sort of like anyone off the street in good health, but in fatigues.
(except i will say there is one nice tall very cute dark haired belgium at the check gate this morning)
young dark haired and dark smooth skinned italians......mmm always one in any group of them that you'd have no trouble macking on in the right situation...
the Americans here on this base are all officers and older so not too many hotties to look at, but they are all super nice guys of course living in our quarters.
one extremely hot and tall black captain on my hall who does all the computer networking for hall. makes me wonder... will he know where I'm going online?
one more thing about the French.. ha ha. their berets are super wide and flat, I mean I was taking double takes imagine wearing a floppy black beret size of a dinner plate, very interesting. that's as positive as i can put it.
oh and 2 very hot Czech nurses, and yes I mean women. they are just hot, that's all I'm saying.
the gym on base is funny, because the europeans all wear lots of spandex guys and girls. ha ha, so funny. I don't know if you guys have been overseas much or met Europeans in the states, but you know, maybe you've heard the joke about a guy in the states sort of dressed gay, but its jsut that he's european. ha ha. anyway, at the gym same thing. lots of cardio machines, and some weight machines and dumbells. already have a captain ,this young american who already asked me to cem work out with him and he said he'd help me with the conversions from metric. ha.
it does sort of suck I'm used to my usual 45lb or 30 lb dumbells for certain workouts and now I'll have to either work up or down in kg. watch out ISAF, dan is getting back into the gym.... ah yeah
no showers or lockers, which sucks of course! only at the entrance are lockers for us to put our coats and shoes in. you are not allowed to wear the same shoes in the gym, you have to bring you gym shoes and put them on when you get there.
all my boxes arrived yesterday, so I'm set on soap and clothes, and school supplies i shipped over. also about 5 months of my glutamine supplements. I'll just have to get used to the altitude at this point before I start hitting it too hard getting back into shape.
Get to it everyone, it's winter, get to the gym now before Christmas break when everyone is off and at the bars LOOKING for some fun. also good time to start a routine so that you are not in with the new years crowds in jan, the ones that start up and then peter out eventually. keep it up and get in great shape by spring when EVERYONE starts feeling in the mood.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
here's a pic of my hotel room last night at the sheraton dubai creek.
you may notice that bag I blogged about last summer on my bed in the photo.
hard to get the view in the pic, but my window on the 5th floor looked out on the river and bank, with downtown on the other side in the distance.
I laid in bed for about an hour not really wanting to seep. I had the lights off and left the window open just staring out into the view. tons of fun.
made it to the lobby at 5am to check out, and our flight at 730a, from dubai to here in Kabbul.
get this, we arrive here in kabul and the military ride already showed up too early, so instead our 'bosses" are here from lockkheed and take all of us to the lockhheed compound here in Kabull, and guess what we wer NOT on base, we were driving through public streets, one of which we were told upon arrival here that has been dangerous lately for bombings. oh great.
also the crazy driving here was something else, no rules, lanes, lights.... but I have to say that my Honduras time definitely prepared for being in a 3rd world country again...its 5am in OKC now and 4pm here so I'm waiting to eat dinner at the mess hall around 5:30 and watching tv.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
watched some good movies on the plane, Stardust, and darjheeling Limited, and some French films random, and some tv episodes of Simpsons and Friends... it very surreal sleeping and waking on long flights because you can wake up and catch the end or beginning of the same movie as it repeats.
At the Paris airport, I did something new, we got off the plane to a bus, to the terminal... then to our gate.... then boarded outside to a bus again to the plane to leave. lots of stop, wait, go, stop wait, go. etc...
airport in paris took US dollars but gave euro change. dollar not worth much theses days I suggest everyone just stay home, you are only rich in America compared to spending in Europe. ha.
i caused my "director" a bit of grief in the airports, she had this thing about keeping us together at all times and getting in the same lines for everything... drove me crazy, I asked her why the first time and after that just shuup and got in line. we have terrible leadership on this "team" but I won't complain, I am ready to just arrive on base where everything is kept in order, show up to class and rock and roll in the classroom teaching English! ahh yeahh
I do have one small complaint to mention, we arrive at our hotel in Dubai, and our boss reserved the room w/ his credit card, but they have to use our directors card to charge the rooms on. He was here last night and flew out to Kabbull today. The screwed up thing is we have NO idea when our flight leaves tomorrow. so we don't know if we are sleeping in or getting up early or what!! serious lack of planning or communication somewhere, boss made the reservations we are sure but have no ideas where or when tomorrow. so the guy at the desk ( very nice and cute pakistan guy, we were just chatting in the lobby earlier...) asked her for when we were checking out and she's like, uhh i don't know, can you look at Kam Air to see if we have reservations... and he says " I'm sorry madam, perhaps YOU could check in the morning, hereis their 1-800 number, their offices are now closed... etc etc. anyway you get the picture.
i just want to be the fun guy in the cool group that has everything in control and organized, and somehow I end up in this two bit thrown together teams of yahoos. ahh well, now I've gotten that off my chest, I'll focus on the salary, and getting to base and making some friends I clique with.
right now I'm waiting for my ham and cheese sandwich from room service. it's 2:45 am Sunday morn here, but in OKC it's 4:45 pm in the afternoon Saturday.
btw my sandwich is 48 darhams, and it's 3.5 darhams to 1 dollar so you can do the math on the one... more news as it happens
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Its already been taking off of xtube, dang it all............
you can google treasureislandmedia.com and click on swallow dvds, damon blows america 8, and then he's the guy in the yellow shirts.
sorry the clip would have been easier, jsut forget it. ha
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
this morning this other guy from indiana, apparently some excop, dark haired and MUSCULAR ( i was behind him when we got shots, shirts off the day before) anyway, he's wearing these camping style pants fit tight, and he was sitting next to me this morning, and I'm staring at the powerpoint ahead but can also notice he's rubbing his crotch and I see him get fuller there, and next thing I'm stretching my eyeballs to see without moving is his hand goes in his pocket to pull it to the side as he gets a chubby. man that was hot, but the show ended quick as we all had to stand for a sec and then sit back down. i don't think he realized i noticed anything. but you know how it is , guys, when you wake up earlier than normal, maybe with out having your morning hardon yet, and then later you are sitting somewhere sleepy and groggy and it hits! ha.
anyway thought I'd share that.
i saw the guy i went to the broadway show with last february on xtube last night. that was a weird reality check. this guy used to have a LOT going for him, but I've heard since he ended up in NYC and does films, of the extreme sort I would never run into, but last night I recognized him in an oral clip. anyone want the link?
anyway, about yesterday, long day.
on base by 7am and bussed to medical on base. receive questioning and then blood drawn for dna profile, then eye test, and dental, next more questioning, and given 6 month supply of anti malaria meds to take daily, then given a small pox immunization in one arm, and anthrax immunization in the other, and then sent downtown to a clinic for physical, measles/mumps/polio shot, flumist shot, Hep a/b shot, and then a shot for the TB test. also they drew more blood again for a blood type test.
today went LONG, to begin with my alarm didn't go off so I wasn't downstairs at 5:30 to leave, so a co worker was knocking on my door at 5:44 . dam it all! so i grabbed my clothes and a box of cereal and bottle of juice and ran out to the van... but the day got better.
a long day of what they called "death by powerpoint". but I found all the training very interesting all day. serious. classes and presentations included;
unidentified explosive devices..what to do, how not to approach or touch etc...
IUD's , anything can be an iud, and what to look for and land mine signs etc...
sexual assault, no means no etc....
mistreatment of prisoners..... etc all about army values and how the people who mistreated at abu grade are criminals and why....
I can now give immediate first aid to a head injury, open chest wound, and abdominal wounds including if something is hanging out. also learned about bandaging a wound, the head, and applying a tournequet and marking the victim with a T and the time it was applied.
long day, a bit more tomorrow, getting my TB test read, and getting our final checkout.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Monday, December 03, 2007
meeting lots of interesting people though as we sit on a bus or in line or at the lunch table.
today we filled out more paper work, got checklists initialed, got some gear and 2 duffle bags....
bought some boots before coming back to hotel. also we ate at chilis.
long 2 days.
tomorrow we get anthrax and smallpox immunizations..... fun huh.
I'm getting excited to get over there and see how it all is.
chatting with just a few hot guys today in the mix.
on base over all, nice looking military guys, and at chilis tonight def tons of hot military guys there eating dinner.
maybe going to get me a short short haircut before heading out Friday, not sure yet
i will fly to paris friday night and the dubai from there....more later.