Friday, June 30, 2006

pics for the weekend......

Just thinking here.....

I've gotten into the habit of reading a few other blogs online while at work. usually only the safe for work ones without too many pics etc.. anyway, I was just thinking how Eric from "I see things in widescreen" mentioned he was at UCLA working a camp this summer, and Matt from "Debriefing the boy" is living near UCLA and working out at the gym there, and now I'm sort of just waiting to see when this summer the two shall meet. I don't mean hook up, jsut meet up and will we ever hear about it, they both seem so laid back and cool and open to just meeting other guys coming out and dealing with it etc. so time shall tell, but I want you guys to know I'm rooting for ya.
Meanwhile back in the midwest, I'm getting to the gym today and then see a movie "Devil in Prada" tonight, not to stereotype, but how many straight guys you think will be seeing that one?
Hey I'm just a real fan of Meryl Streep, what's wrong with that. ha! :) ( I've also been told recently that straight guys don't use smiley faces in emails, labels labels labels, people shut up and quit trying to stereotype and categorize everybody already, dang) although, yeah I know sometimes the shoe does fit....anyway...
The thing is I hate all these "social rules" because it limits everybody from just being themselves, Probably there are a lot more straight guys afraid to look gay, whatever that is, than there are gay guys afraid to look straight. ( come on you know any gay guy loves being asked if he's straight, right? I do anyway) . It bothers me because even if guys are straight, they should have the freedom of being expressive and artistic or creative as much as anybody without having to stifle anything out of fear or shame of being assumed gay, and this should be true for gay boys who don't wish to join every activist or political issue, as well the assumption that every gay automatically has abandoned their faith or religious point of view. I think some people assume its all or nothing, one side of the fence or the other, no in between. Well that's only true in the bed people, nothing else.

Do Americans only feel safe once we can put each other in a box and assign labels; Is the gay community any different? I'd hope so, since they expect to be accepted equally regardless of sexual orientation. and perhaps the whole pride thing is a celebration of that acceptance of people regardless of anything, which is why it brings out the cross-dressing, outrageous outfits, leather, chubs, glamour, flair, transgender etc etc.. However race and ethnicity stereotypes among the gay or straight crowd do remain.
I teach a handful of students from other countries English during the public school year. I can think of a few from India, brand new, and they are so happy and friendly and kind usally coming from Christian families ( although everyone assumes Hindi because they are brown), and really beautiful. They already speak some English because it's taught in India. They smile and are animated and expressive when speaking (and of course I sort of monitor their stages of adapting to the culture, the stages of loving it, hating it, then adjusting to somewhere in between of liking some new things, and holding on with pride some of the old).

Well, it's sad when a student comes and asks me, " Mr. $#@ , what does camel-jockey mean?" or "what does sand-nigger mean?" OR when I hear some one in the hall imitating the Indian guy from the Simpsons when they walk by.. nothing get's me hotter. Or the challenge of getting the new Vietnamese girl to make friends because the AmerAsian students have parents with money and she's FOB and not part of their crowd etc..I'm the nicest most peaceful laid back cheerful guy you'll ever meet, but nothing turns this hard body stud into an angry drama queen any quicker than one of my kids being exposed to that. I'm worse than a parent would be, I consider my job as a complete advocate for these students!

There is a sort of innocence they have to lose, and I've seen them 6 months into school when they are not as open smiled to every student, and they indeed learn that the only place to sit at alunch would be the Indian table or the Asian table. ( although I always APPLAUD and encourage greatly those who break the barriers and seek out being friends with white kids and sitting at any table) One new high-school boy last semester wore his jeans and shirts from India a bit more tight fitted than the American style (extreme-casual, why-bother-dressing-up-for-school style) and within the first month begin getting called gay in class. He was so nervous having the conversation with me and asking me why I didn't tell him not to dress that way, and he wore lose jeans and larger amercian t0-shirts every day after that. poor guy, I thought he looked sharply dressed and figured his Indian friends would mention it to him if there was a problem, well apparently they finally did when he didn't understand what was goin on in class but other students with better English did.

Obviously all the fear and anxiety of acceptance I grew up with in high school is what gets me so hot defending anybody at this point...(btw, these are just thoughts, I'm not trying to argue anything)

Thursday, June 29, 2006

beach boys, again...

any comments?

plans are under way for a trip to the lake with my friend from Austin and his bf and a "bud" I made in okc that now lives in TX. anyway, they'll fly into okc and the 4 of us will be making a road trip up to gran lake for a four day weekend in August and I'm looking forward to it, in fact it's keeping me motivated at the gym.
man I need to grow legs. the guy on the far left of this pic I decided is sort of what my body goals are at this point in the next year or so. I'am sort of that body type but he may have better genes than what I can acheive. I ordered some more Nucare glutamine tabs today. they have been working excellently all spring and I ran out a month ago and my trainer is no longer buying them in bulk.
I'm looking forward to seeing "devil in Prada", and "click" this weekend. Out of Africa is one of y favorite movies so I've always respected streep movies since. Also can't wait to see "superman" but I'll have to wait till I'm on vacation in AR next weekend with my married buddy , he wants to see it with me etc..
I've been checking pride photologs online. Did I ever mention last weekend was gay pride here in the city. I'm not out much but Saturday night my friend S. and i hit the bars because we knew it'd be packed with a lot of new faces from out fo town and it was... just drinking beers and looking, nothing too wild going on, except this boy from Tulsa checking me out in the restroom and then hollaring at me to come talk to all his friends when I walked out into the bar, he was teasing me about my size and trying to grab at it etc.. always fun to get some flirting going on since okc is usually completely boring at the bars, they seem to have a lot of attitude problems as if it were Dallas, and its not, the town is just too small so you have cliques and everyone has already made their rounds with someone or someone they know etc...
What I really need is a vacation OUT of okc next month, right now I'm looking at tampa or grand rapids.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Anyone ever been to gay disney?

I just wonder if I could handle this crowd or not, some of it's looking pretty good, maybe lose the cigarettes, but I'd liek to know if anyone's ever been or not and if its any fun with cool normal guys or just a bunch of drugged up muscle circuit types...

Does living in the closet make you feel powerful?

The power of deception, living a secret life, knowing something another doesn't? Nah I just didn't agree with this blog post I found online about how being "in the closet" supposedly is some sort of power that guys just don't want to get rid of or something, I didn't really get it at all.....

trainer S.

I worked out with my trainer today before coming into work, my summer job, a computer lab where I monitor students learning English or GED stuff. It's really really easy, although realy boring at times, but at $19 an hour why quit...long as I get time in the mornings to get out in the sun and get to the gym I'm fine, it's only 4 days a week.
I worked out today before lunch, on wednesdays I meet my trainer and work back and shoulders. My trainer is a friend I made in a singles group at a church I went to a few years ago, he's a sprotswriter and used to compete bodybuilding so I pay him 20 bucks for an hour work out and he spots me and moves me around on different stuff each week and gives a chance to shoot the breeze and hang out once a week. I can get my legs worked out, and my chest/arm day, fine. but it's been tough getting my back and shoulders to really grow much so having a spotter and a bud saying "2 more" etc definitely helps. right now I'm 6'1 and 165 and feeling pretty good and in shape, I mean I run a couple miles or swim laps every day, and this is a guy who was 6' and 120 starting college, a stick. hopefully its only getting better from here on with any luck, I'll never be like my goal of tom of finland but that's unreal anyway right?..... you may be wondering is my trainer some total hot stud, yeah he's pretty well built, although a little bigger than I really like, and I wouldn't even consider him twice as far as messing around because he's a bud anyway. I've decided to start swimming every morning again after gettin gup at 7 a.m. I'ts been boring this summer getting up and walking around the yard or watching tv til breakfast at 9. later.

more am. pic fun

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

hot? or is it just the foreign accent....

damn I love the brazilian type...

I read this blog"Made in Brazil" because of the hot pics of brazil guys, information on gay bar events, gay travel stuff there, soccer team stuff, fashion stuff ( I think the guy has some ny fashion job from what I can tell) and lots of pics and educated opinoins, pretty cool etc... anyway today he has some hot pics up of the pride parade action which continued this last weekend, check it out.

need to branch out here in okc, i know

I have 3 gay friends in OKC. I've mentioned S. before, the other discreet guy in town who I'll go get a beer with at the gay bars now and then when we feel like getting "out" again.
The other friend B. is a guy I met out at the bars about 2 years ago who is a fellow educator like me, teaching high school and now at a University, completely out to all his family and former students, they all continue to love and respect him nonetheless, and he conitnually hangs out every weekend with a tight-nit group of married and single straight friends. This guy really has it together, still dates, I've seen him at the gay bars with his straight friends who are all cool, and if they didn't drink like fish and party and gamble so late into the night, I would prolly try to hang out more with them. He's super smart, cute face and tight tight body, I feel like he's stuck in a city with less smart quality guys to choose from like himself, although he dates some pretty hot guys... I'd pursue hanging out with him more but I think he'd like it to get physical and I really just want to get out and have a gay bud to be socail with now and then.
the third guy is R. who is a fellow teacher, although he taught at a private school here in okc. He was married when I met him at the gym like 4 years ago, we were sort of checking each other out, but he was brave enough to give me his number and email, and eventually we started hanging out, messed around just once, but since he was married and all I didn't pursue it more than just an excellent friendship. since then he's had a 3rd kid somehow, and then last winter finally got divorced after a lot of marraige counseling etc etc etc.. anyway, so all last spring he's been hitting the bars and had a few boyfriends and partying it up as they say, also sharing custody of the kids and remaining amiable with the -ex. now they live a couple blocks away in Dallas and pursue a peacefull future with the children, amazing.
well I mention this because I called him this mornign asking when can I come down to Dallas! I haven't been down there in 3 or more years, and when in Dallas, you know, I'm from out of town and more anonymous and so its always funto check out all the gay bars and see what's out there etc. ( although usually its about the same options as OKC just more people....) looks like it will be a couple weeks before I can sneak away to Dallas though 'cause he said his bf is coming sdown this weekend, ahh man!
The suckiest thing is I hate that I have to lie to my parents and family when I'm going to be gone to Dallas some weekend, for example tell them I am seeing straight married frineds from college instead ofthe truth, my gay divorced teacher friend from okc.... ahh well, for now such is the life.

Monday, June 26, 2006

This guy's pic file titled "gods among men"....

gay stuff

Did anyone see the Queer eye guy on REgis and Kelly, alright so yeah I love Kelly Rippa and watch that show sometimes if I'm having a late breakfast, gotta love the summer..
anyway, this morning Carson was filling in for REgis and man is he gay, but you know what he's also really funny and clever, and real and honest. You know, there is a misconception that gay guys are always looking and more sexually charged because they are gay, you know like some people say "perverted", anyway, the reason I mention it is because I couldn't help but notice that Carson would comment on every actor's name mentioned (married or not) about how hot he is and is he single etc etc etc.. and I was wondering if it were a straight man going on about every actress's name mentioned (married or not) would it seem as funny or normal. I was sort of hoping that all the moms and/or kids home from school for the summer were not watching and thinking, oh all gay guys must be like this.... like I said he's great and funny and smart, I just want everyone to know that's just one gay guy, not all gay guys.
one more thing: guys out of highschool really shouldn't be wearing Hollister. I say this 'cause I work at a highschool and all the boys love hollister, and they look GREAT in these clothes, big tall fball boys wearing Hol. tighty tshirts , great, fine, normal. Nothing against Hollister but it's for HIGH SCHOOL boys, not men. obviously we cannot assume that every gay man has fashion sense, but even those who do think Hollister on out-of-college or grown-men-approaching-30-or-over is ok, it's not. IF YOU think you look younger wearing it, you dont.... you look like a guy getting older trying to wear a youthful fashion. guys you will look just as hot in a jcrew, H&M,or non brand name shirt, emote college boys all you want, or GUYS IN BANDS look which can be a lot of ages, but not highschool HOllister shirts please. (sorry for the rant if this only geographical to OKC)
however I will say, if you are one of those muscly beefy circuit boys at ANY age who can wear almost anything, flip flops, cargo shorts, any shirt.....etc. and look hot, hell yeah wear Hollister and look as gay as you want, anything works on those type of guys....

guy supposedly sleeping etc....

kiss me blue toga boy, or just lose the toga!