Sunday, April 30, 2017

Goodbye April...............

I had a good week. it was pretty much just watching students working on the last paper and emailing the ones with questions etc.. Thursday I swam laps and worked back and shoulders and then home. Friday meeting at 10am , then office hours. I left to get to the pool by 3pm for laps and then drove over to my parents' place west of the city. My sister and b in law were in town for a doctor's appnt and so we all got together for dinner. on the way over to my folks from the gym , I passed a nursery, and this time of year, I'm always going to stop into that nursery.  it's on the south side of town and I only am ever on that road when I'm going west on the same road over, to my family's side of town.
Anyway, the nice tall guy with a tshirt and pants on and nice wad of dip in is mouth was very helpful. cute guy who I thought stood a little too close when he came out to ask if I had any questions. I don't mean that he purposefully did that, but at some point he was walking up to me to ask about help and I had stopped and turned around and neither of us really shifted from our position. It was just a mental check because I've always noticed people are always comfortable getting near me or touching me.  It's some sort of vibe I must give off.  I'm not a person who gets too close to people. I'm completely aware of personal space and all that. but personally I'm not bothered by it. I don't know if it's because I grew up with 4 other siblings or my 3 years in Central America, but that's how it is.  That guy coming right up behind me and getting close while asking if I needed help is just a mini example. maybe it's that I didn't take the cue and move forward.
For example, on the way to Portland, I sat on the plane to Atlanta in a middle seat. ugh! I never would have chosen that, but remember I had to change my flights the night before without a choice (I always choose window!). anyway, the woman on my right side was a shorter full bodied (overweight) person and she was not giving up that arm rest! ha ... I wasn't either though and so I sort of kept my elbow at the back while she got the rest. there we are arms touching the whole way, neither cared. (I always assume overweight people are used it, but I could be wrong).
That new dentist I went to last month, I remember him asking me if I was from Californ ia. He said i seemed so laid back and calm.  And I kind of remember throughout the process he rested his arm on my chest at times that I'd never experienced before with other dentists. my point is that he felt comfortable doing so. I think I've blogged before about students in the past who want to touch my beard and have or way back when I taught middle school and the few times some kid would just touch my hairy wrist or pull on it just to feel. ha ha. curious sort.   I'm glad I give off the vibe though, and I don't regard it as a sexual one, but more of a social human contact. oh how important physical contact is to the human machine, people!
As a teacher I keep a close regard on such, but, and yes I'll admit I'm definitely a physical touch person, hugs, hand shakes, etc with fmaily/friends.  I'm all for it. but with students I keep it to a pat on the back or shoulder. but rarely, it might be on a particular good mood day and I'm passing back a major paper. etc.  I thnk Elementary teachers, especially women have it the easiest, getting to hug their kids all the time. But probably I just think of all that since I never my own kids. so let's change the topic.
I was watching PBS Newshour last week and they did a cover story on Atwood's feminist The Handmaid's Tale, a new series online or HBO or something..  and directly followed it with a story about prom dresses.  I was trying to decide if that was ironic or right on point. Something about the imagined ultra oppression of women which I guess is what the show I'll never watch is about stuck up against girls getting all prettied up in a prom dress?  Then I decided that I probably don't understand feminism at all.  I read one of those dumb articles online about 10 unfair things girls at a gym have to deal with, and I said to myself, damn really all men should be neutered at age ten until men are able to reprogram their biology to notice/interact with women! I suppose just the idea of the few douchebag guys who treat women horribly/oppressively being used to define all men bothered me.  Yes it's horrible for women to have to deal with all the harrassment possible at a gym, but I don't see it at my gym.  Yes definitely there are straight guys talking to the women there for only one reason, but there are also guys (most) that just talk to other people working out at the gym. Most guys seem to have the normal social awareness of people around them. like when you point to a bench to say "done?" and receive a polite "yes" or "no" etc.. Or a sort of mimed "Are you using this?"  And I don't even get a chance with some females, they are not going to look at anyone, sit down get up and walk off, completely ignore.  It's too bad they feel they have to act that way, but it may be based on a bad gym experience.  The article did say women prefer to work out at majority gay guy gyms, maybe I should wear a nice bright pink shirt?
Well anyway I've noticed the same with other race guys at the gym too, that sort of invisibility feature that other races have around another. I haven't noticed this at my gym now.... sometimes the college guys with a bud pay no regard to anyone, but I'll chuck that up to millenials not having social interaction skills in general. ha ha  yes, i'm a social person huh.
back to feminism, this month's issue of Outside magazine has 6 women on the cover with a subheading "The Future of Adventure Is Female"... ??? can't I just read an outside adventure magazine without the women issues thrown at me?  I'm all for equality, will they do a cover if men were to become "the future of adventure?"  this doesn't really relate, but my church Sunday school did a feature last week about supporting a women prison's ministry and also a single mothers ministry. I asked my parents after church whether any churches had a single fathers ministry?  I mean wouldn't the goal be for both parents to stay involved and why not offer love and support to the fathers. what are they all horrible male jerks and abandoners???  ;). anyway just thoughts.
this weekend was lazy with all the rain. today I'm getting all the final project papers done in my online class. And I'm getting my kitchen cleaned up and the house clean.  a repairman is coming tomorrow at 2pm to look at my oven which hasn't worked since November. Also I want all the house work and laundry done so I can focus on the final papers I get turned in Monday from 2 classes, and then Thursday 3 classes turn in theirs and I'll have all next weekend to get those done.  Summer is COMING!
PS I ordered that green rain jacket I wanted online this morning, went down to half off!! woot woot
PSS. here a good article about a speaker dis-invited to speak at University of Arkansas.


Dwight Williamson said...

Personal contact of a professional or retail nature should be no longer than 1-2 seconds and if it is not pre- explained or agreed it is a come on. Such as a tailor measuring your inseam or asking which side you dress to, so pants fit ideally. Maybe your getting hotter in your old age lol or they want to see how far they can go. I have great urges to touch specific people but in regards to personal space it should be allowed verbally or acknowledged. Sounds hot though. Your dentist sounds at least bi or just young and horny. 🍆🎭😷

Anonymous said...

I think some guys are just more in your face and touchy then others without any sexual overtones. I notice some guys would stand back if they feel as their personal space is imvaded and others like you are okay with close contact. I am like you in that it doesn't phase me if someone invades my space as long as I don't find them offensive. Summer almost here Dan. Enjoy and keep at It in the gym. I am attempting to do the same

Mark Gaulding said...

Dan, I always love your blog. This time I felt I had to comment. I am a white, middle-aged, gay male. As an adult, I've always identified as a feminist. White, straight men in the time I've been alive, have always dictated and stapled the rest of society. As a feminist, I believe that our world would be much better with more women empowerment (personally I'd prefer women had a majority of power). Your comments about student/teacher physical contact really made me think. Why is that female teachers are somewhat safer in demonstrating themselves physically (is anyone in this age safe) than males? That seems like a reverse example of feminism. I always relish reading about your blog. Thank you!