Friday, November 04, 2016

heavy week, good to be away from okc this weekend. :P

I got a haircut Thursday and had a pretty good chat with the guy that cuts my hair. he has a boyfriend and they are I think late 20s or early 30s. we tried to get together a few times this summer at Scott's pool but it never worked out for some reason. I did meet them for pizza once for lunch which great.
we decided we'd have to try and get together again, and just chatted away but the guy from DC area who I'd met in OKC while in town, and then how he and his bf were making new gay friends etc.. and I forget what else we talked about but he's a super nice guy. anyway,
RIght after the haircut I went over to Scott and B's to watch Project RUnway on their big screen HD, ha  I didn't realize it was an hour and half show, so I stayed later than I thought I would. 9:30..home quick and jump into bed.
Friday chilled at home and played int he yard...l Saturday I took a load of branches to the city dump, then hoe to work on the walkway brick path project mostly done. cleaned up outside in the yard, did some laundry and general work.. I meant to go downtown to see a foreign film but I got the times confused thinking I could go at 8 but the film I wanted to see was at 530. alas.
was busy most of last week also visiting my aunt every other day, and getting to cheer her up and chat a bit with her, love and hug on her, I sat next to her at the table with some other old ladies and the assisted rehab care place she was in and reminded her to turn her head left to swallow, she wasn't really making it a learned habit. Church Sunday and then Halloween on Monday, sat out on the porch for about two hours handing out over 200 pieces of candy. Our block has a safe street thing where they block it off at both ends and then kids come from 6 to 8, also chit chatting with neighbors. some of them serve hot chocolate or hot dogs.  AT my house I had pencils in my bowl of candy so every now and then I gave a kid a pencil. ha!
well Tuesday after work I had dinner with my aunt again, but the Wednesday she couldnt' swallow anything and ended up back at the hospital.  seems that food and such was staying in her throat and not going down, and when they gave her a pill that morning (which should have been crushed, but anyway) it got blocked and then nothing was going down.  They did a procedure to look down her throat is how they found all this out.  She couldnt' breathe very well either because of her CPD? from being a smoker all her life and has been on oxygen for a while, there were decisions made and she asked to be taken off ventilator on Thursday morning cuz it was forcing air into her lungs and stressing her, it seems she'd already agreed on a DNR, and alas,  My parents were told she'd have 5 minutes to two days until her body would fail her.....by the time I could get up there after work on Thursday, she was on oxygen resting comfortably on morphine but no more treatment going on for her lungs. in ICU. I went and stayed with her a while with my mom, then went back and sat with my dad in the waiting room while my mom went with my two sisters who had come up. they sat with her or a while and I went with my folks to get dinner in the cafeteria.  then we all went in to be with her around 7 and sat in the room together with the curtains drawn because really visiting hours were over at 6:30. we sat in there with her, she lay asleep breathing with her mouth sort of open. I would stroke her hair a little and gave her a kiss and then let me sister sit next to her and hold her hand...we waited because they said she got stable enough to be moved to pallative care room.
I left a little before 8 to go home and I think my family left later once she was put into another room.
I was pretty busy last night packing my things and getting ready to leave on a trip this weekend.
This morning I got everything loaded up into my pickup and made it to work a little late for an 8 am meeting when I got there late and walked in, wasn't 5 minutes that I got a text to call my sister, and then she texted me that my dear sweet aunt Judee passed on this morning, my other sister and mom were with her in the room at the time, which really we were thankful she wasn't alone at least.
I left the meeting immediately and went into the bathroom next door to cry. thank goodness the campus is more sparse students or faculty on Fridays!  called my sister to get details and then gathered myself to go back to the meeting.  from 8 to 10, then off to the airport.
I'll add here that my aunt Judee was the fun crazy aunt that lived in California, had a biker boyfriend at some point, a few husbands, fun independent personality. I remember her long hair, long nails, big sunglasses and long brown hair. she had bid doe eyes like natalie wood. I'll never forget my freshman year in college she was visiting during Christmas and I was going on a road trip to ski in CO with some friends and arguing to my parents about wanting money to go, she came into the room from the other side of the kitchen and slipped me a $20, what love. I'll miss her smile and hugs, even last week her smile and hugs. I'm not even mentioning how clever she was with words and how smart she was with word puzzles and phrases and historical information about things.... sigh
I'm in Charlotte NC for the weekend y'all!!!  actually Ft Mill SC . visiting a friend I worked with in central america. she has the cutest kids a 15 and 8 year old boy from her ex husband she met while in cetnral america so they are half latino. super great kids.She's going to show me around tomorrow. I've been planning this trip for a while. we're going to catch up with another former coworker tomorrow also.   hope everyone has a good fall weekend, it's beautiful here in Ft Mill tonight. :)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dan, sorry to learn about the death of your aunt who clearly lived a rich life, unhampered by the need to obey convention - an example to us all.

Dwight Williamson said...

Although loss is never easy, she was in an intractable place. What is most important is that you spent your time with her before she passed and you should have no regrets. Just a little piece of your ❤️ broken. One thing about aging none of us will get out of it alive.!😢

London Bear said...

So sorry, Dan. But I bet she really enjoyed having you visit her so much and she died knowing she was loved. Take care of yourself, son. x