(From the University of Texas online writing style guide page titled "Sensitivities")
Sexual Orientationgay/lesbian: “Gay” is acceptable and preferable as a synonym for homosexuals, primarily males. “Lesbian” is preferred for women. When possible, use “gay and lesbian.” It’s best to use “gay” as an adjective, not a noun, for example, “gay man,” “gay people.” Where space is an issue, “gay” is acceptable to include both gays and lesbians.
gay lifestyle: Avoid this term. There is no one gay lifestyle, just as there’s no one heterosexual lifestyle.
gay relationships: Gay, lesbian and bisexual people use various terms to describe their commitments. If possible, ask the individual what term he or she prefers. Otherwise, “partner” is generally acceptable.
homosexual: This is the medical/clinical term for lesbians and gays. (adj.) Of or relating to sexual and affectional attraction to a member of the same sex. (n.) A person who is attracted to members of the same sex. “Gay” or “lesbian” is the preferred term in all contexts, except clinical.
LGBTQA: Acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning and ally communities.
Adapted from the News Watch Diversity Style Guide.
While hanging out with friends in my bud's pool Saturday, a song about Alejandro came on and I asked who it was singing. A friend said "Lady Gaga! I'm going to have to revoke your gay card." or something like that. anyway, it's a good example, and I know he was just playing around, but inside I just rolled my eyes. I was thinking once again I'm just not gay enough for this crowd apparently! ha
but I let it roll off my back so to speak, although after that, any gay dance song that came on i was asked "who is this?" thank goodness I recognized Britney Spears voice, couldnt' care less for the music, and I missed a Kylie Minoque song, big F deal. It's all Madonna and Gaga at the pool and I've gotten used to it, it's like the gay law apparently to have that music playing any time 3 or more gays (oops not to be used as a noun I meant gay guys) are at the same function. ha although I will say later it changed to a pandora channel of 80's music and that was way more awesome.
This morning i was thinking, how do I revoke someone's heterosexual card? wait, that'd be accusing them of being gay, what a joke, but I don't guess I felt being accused of being straight. whatever.
anyway, so I really like the above writing style guide suggestion of not using the term gay lifestyle as everyone just has a lifestyle.
Although I suppose if we were to consider a lifestyle stereotype, it'd be stereotyping for gay or straight. I might say for guys who throw themselves into the gay lifestyle as those who are doing circuit parties, clubbing all the time, and hooking up online constantly, sort of an as much sex as possible way of living? which of course is so innaccurate. and the straight lifestyle.....hmm maybe wife and kids, playing x box, beer, watching sports constantly and washing the car? I mean it's lame right? gay guys can be all about family and sports and beer video games and there are plenty of straight guys all about clubbing and having as much sex as possible...people are people and forgive me if I gave up keeping up with gay icon dance club divas years ago. Gaga was nothing more than Madonna 2 point anyway for me as talented, (yes yes, as very talented as) she is.... :)
overall, as I get more comfortable with new friends, it will take effort to be more accepting of the things someone loves and wants to experience as "gay" as they may be and being comfortable letting myself be a part of it. And I hope also to show we can appreciate and discuss all sorts of things gay or not and enjoy music as music whether it's gay club music or not, and perhaps help friends to relax and be gay without having to prove anything by following every cultural gay norm. or any inuendo comment with that's what he said etc... time time time
Now about that thing above: queer, questioning, and ally communities? hmmmmm