Tuesday, July 02, 2013

July begins.....

you had asked about the DOMA repeal and I wasn't sure what thoughts i should share on this blog if any.  I suppose for all my gay friends who want to get married it's a pretty awesome deal. seems fair to me.
My overall joke last week with friends about the whole deal was that I wanted equality for single people, meaning everyone pay the same tax regardless. I also wonder about how if marriage is a religious thing, then govt shouldn't bother recognizing it with straight or gay couples, if you were to keep govt and religion separate and all that. but those are all just thoughts.
I will share that I think it's incredibly lame to put Bert and Ernie on a cover as a gay couple watching the news as if now they can get married.  I think that's hijacking something meant as an innocent model of fraternity, male friendship, brotherhood, community, by identifying it as gay. you know what, if you need some muppets to identify gay then wrtie sesame street and ask them to do so, don't assumer it's Bert and Ernie just because suddenly natural male bonding and friendship can't be normal anymore and must be assumed gay, that's bull crap.  I pretty much put it up there with momon's praying jewish victims of the holocaust into heaven as mormons now after they're dead..... unjustified and wrong. that's kind of a weird comparison but that's how I see people trying to change something beautiful and non sexual as a gay relationship.
while I'm at it, I have to say that being a guy is pretty awesome, and there are a lot of things we miss out on with male bonding and friendship in the USA because of the ultra macho game guys have to play in order NOT to be seen as gay. It's interesting to me considering for example a muslim arab culture where it's male dominated and guys constantly greet one another with a hug and/or kiss. I've seen men in Afghanistan and India walking hand in hand, stand and hold hands while talking.  I've had afghan students laugh about how I always pulled away my hand first....  I think whether gay or straight, a lot of males miss out on all that physical contact, maybe they substitute the physicality of sports, maybe some males are confident not to care and have no problem with touch and affection.  You can see plenty of guys online very comfortable with their body and touching, tons of videos of guys wrestling around around parading around naked, whipping it out and joking about.. .none of that is necessarily gay. just guys being guys..... anyway, those are just thoughts about he whole bert and ernie thing and stuff that bothers me about our culture.
I'll have to say here, it all stems from a dad who was no physical and grew up on a farm and an older brother who I was never friends with or felt I could count on.  I always dreamed of having my own kids where I'd raise my boys to really stick up for each other and remember family first. like I'd seen in other families where brothers were friends and sure fought sometimes but also played and talked and supported the other etc as someone to count on etc.... I had really hoped I could raise boys differently than what I had with my father and brother.  which I don't blame for any of it, we were just a different family, my dad was raised in a pretty serious Christian home like I said on a farm, and my mother had brothers that fought constantly so she thought it was normal for brothers not to get along.  (funny thing is her brothers are actually very close as adults.) families are all jsut so different alas. nothing you can do...  I do often wonder if I'd had just a bit more encouragement or confidence built from my dad or brother, but my mom will say I was so energeitc and outgoing and all over the place I wouldnt' have listened anyway.. but I don't know.
change of subject, more boring updates, my week is going well. I had 21 students turn in an essay yesterday, all of which I graded today to hand back tomorrow. also did a bit of yard work today and while I was at it, I took my tiller up to the small motor shop to get fixed. I also stepped on a nail yesterday that went right through my Sanuk shoe sole and what I thought between my ring and pinkie toe... until I felt it a bit wet and then squishy in my shoe. so I took it off and sure enough the nail hit the middle of my ring finger toe and scraped off some skin as it slid up betwen that toe and the pinkie toe. I washed it off pretty good and put on hydrogen peroxide, dried it up and put on a bandaid which I've been changing about two or three times a day, after I swim or shower. ha  
worked out chest yesterday and had a stock club meeting right after. stocks are doing well and we decided to buy into the Canadian ATT company, i forget the name of it. I remarked about my CKEC stock and how I wanted sell what I had to pay off half my truck, and then how I was glad I hadn't since it went up about 2 dollars since then. ha  today I worked out legs and then came home and finished those papers. then more yardwork.  I'm looking forward to getting out of town this weekend. I have a moving furniture job Thursday mroning and then I'll drive up to AR to see my best bud J and his wife and kids, spend some quality time and then also see my ex gf and another friend who is coming in from Portland, also will see other friends while in town. also I plan to drive over to Roger and see my okc buddy S and his bf B who lives in Rogers. that should be fun and interesting.  hope every one is getting geared up for a fun fourth.  I was going to go to gran lake with my Austin buddy H but he wasn't able to make it this year and instead invited me down to Austin for the weekend, but I hadn already promised the ex gf that I'd come to AR if the gran lake thing didn't work out. ciao


Anonymous said...

Beautifully said regarding the cultures with lots of nonsexual male bonding with intense friendships and lots of warm touching -- and "amen" regarding our terrible tendency to sexualize all close male bonding (e.g., Burt & Ernie). Ironically, the last practice has the reverse impact of making U.S. guys more distant from one another.

tnmustang2000@gmail.com said...

Dan, things were different for your and mine dad. I don't EVER remember my Dad telling me he loved me!! (and I'm 56 years old!!) He never hugged me or anything! That's just the way it was back then!! I've tried to tell my daughter I love her everytime I see her! I also give her big hugs!! I have 2 brothers and I'm not close to them either.. So I know where your coming from!!

Mike said...

I wasn't into the whole Bert and Ernie thing.

And I agree with your comments: "I wanted equality for single people, meaning everyone pay the same tax regardless. I also wonder about how if marriage is a religious thing, then govt shouldn't bother recognizing it with straight or gay couples, if you were to keep govt and religion separate and all that. but those are all just thoughts."

And BTW, did you know that I am officially in a domestic partnership? LOL. I got a ring.

kent said...

Just a comment on marriage... Marriage is not granted by churches... You have to get a state License first. Then you can choose to get married in a church or by a justice of the peace. The church recognizes the state license to marry.

kent in okc