Saturday, March 10, 2012

weekend break

I miss not going to Austin this weekend. However, I had a lot to do and what with all the truck repair I wasn't really excited about spending money for the gas to drive down and back much less the money I like to shop with in Austin. ha
so I stuck around OKC this weekend. I still want to go down to Dallas at some point so my texas dreams ain't over yet. I hope to visit Randy down there and shop around some including a nursery I really like.
last night I went to an ESL convention thing at UCO in Edmond, saw a lot of my professors from grad school and a lot of people from admin at my district, some other esl teachers I know etc.. Dr. Krashen was speaking, an expert on language acquisition. today I didn't do much of ANYTHING. ha
actually I watched a documentary on Netflix this morning called "Valentino; last emporor" which was interesting. pizza lunch and then grading papers and playing out in the yard the rest of the day.
A friend of mine asked me to help her move furniture this next week so I'll get some extra cash Monday and Wednesday. woot woot. (this is furniture in and out of staged housing, of course I wouldn't charge a friend to move. :)....)
I'm having some difficulty keeping up with my Austin buddy. I feel like the constant instigator to keeping up with visits etc. so i dunno, I'm prolly just feeling sorry for myself, but I did this crazy thing the last two weeks, I told myself well if I hear from my bud in the next 2 weeks before spring break, I'll go down and visit, if not, I'm not going... ha.. well actually my whole budget thing made me think of not going anyway, but still.... I played a little game with myself, waiting to receive just one little contact, call, text, email, that said-- when are you coming next weekend - or hey I can't wait til you come down,- or hey here's what we'll be doing and going to have some fun....etc. just anything little drop of interest, but nah. And seriously I have to be understanding that he's in recovery and keeping busy and has meetings and all sorts of sober friends and such, so I think all that keeps more on his mind anyway. I suppose I have to be pretty patient with the whole process but I'll admit we are definitely in completely different life cycles or styles or something I dunno.
I'm sort of pulling the plug on my end if that makes sense. I don't know why I'm writing this cause I could do a 180 and be all excited to go see NYC with the guy at any second.. ha. We go way back to high school knowing each other so I love the guy and continue to pray for him every morning. I think that's a duty of friendship whether I;m feeling attended to or not. :) I guess I wonder if I'm way too dependent on the friendship as my only friend living in a location that I can get away too, or my only gay friend to go see during time off, or my lack of friends in okc to hang with so that I rely too much on my austin bud. I definitely must strive to improme my social life around here no doubt. what with my buddy S dating his AR bud back and forth to AR on weekends. I've already messaged a few guys in OKC that I need to try and get back into some sort of gay social circle if possible. make that any social circle, beyond that, good thing I got my college friends in AR to get away too anytime, which I'll be doing next weekend after the wedding in Wichita.
blah blah. I'm looking forward to catching up with a gay bud in town while on spring break this week. we're supposed to have lunch at some point this week.
everyone enjoy your weekend. cheers.

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