well I got this week started off right. gym tonight and salad for dinner. homework graded and now just getting all my clothes for work tomorrow laid out ready to put on in the morning. I am trying not to think too much about spring break only being 2 weeks away!!! ha. I got a friend from DC coming back to okc and staying with my Thursday night so I am trying my best to keep everything picked up. My usual routine is just undress wherever I am and toss stuff aside or on a couch or chair, this is usually when I'm home from work and changing into gym clothes, or before bed at night. ha anyway, so after a week, I find myself on weekend having a pile of clothes to wash, other clothes laying around to put away, and pairs of shoes all over the place that need to go back in the closet. so this week I'll have to be on task to keep everything in its place.
thankfully the place is all clean and picked up still from when Randy and bf came to visit a while back.
I emailed this guy in okc that I met at the gym I used to work out downtown. we've emailed a bit back and forth and might meet up over spring break. it seemed to be the best time to try and get together for a lunch, he's this super hottie hard bodied guy who now is a lawyer, and what I like about him is he was raised mormon and has a really nice sense of values. whatever that means, anyway, nice guy and I need a few more friends in this town dang it all! ha (Now that buddy S has a bf they travel back and forth between here and AR to see each other on weekends etc..)
I'm having second thought about Austin for springs break but more on that later. I am definitely going to be in AR to see my college buddies at some point. and also I'll be in Wichita for my niece's wedding. booked the hotel room tonight etc.
last week I was in my college night class discussing Letter from Birmingham Jail and I was thinking about this part where he says many black people were joining muslim brotherhood groups in reaction to the churches in the south standing up for the segregation laws and such. Really made me think about the dilemma of churches today and their reaction to homosexuality and how that affects gay youth growing up believing and having faith in God, and how some of these kids decided not only are they going to be gay, but forget the bible all together etc... I think my fantasy idealized version of being gay and Christian always included being partners and faithful and still going to church, serving God, loving each other and no longer using porn etc etc... blah
A friend of mine recently mentioned an ex bf here in OKC who became a porn star. well anyway I was googling his name and turns out now he's directing gay documentaries of sorts. I was searching on youtube and all sort of films popped up "the butch affect", "the adonis complex" etc.. and others. They looked pretty interesting considering the variety of gay guys and how some are ultra aware of their masculinity, or guys who are so masculine they never felt gay cause they dont' act like all the gay guys they know , fem guys etc... there is this one gay guy on youtube, son of a youtube home designer, who has a channel and his femininity drives me crazy, its sort of like just forced.(I'm sure he's prolly a real nice guy and all but sometimes he comes across as a hot mess! ha) . sort of like if he were a real girl he'd sound like an idiot just the same, but as a gay guy, he assumes the whole shtick is hilarious.. ugh.. anyway no offense to fem guys, i love plenty of fem gay guys that I've known as friends. There's the natural fem guys and then there are the forced gay fem on some guys that I'll never understand. I always wonder if it's in reaction to the homophobia they grew up with, a sort of "I'm gay, proud, and here I am in your face gay/fem." versus the guys who are just sort of always fem gay.
my bud in Austin has an ex that I think I mentioned before , sometimes he just spewed forth this granola gay fem sort of atitude and then my bud would tell me, uh when he's around he family he's totally this normal masc dude. I know we are all different around different people but it makes ya wonder how forced it is or maybe just assumed that's what people expect you to act, so you do....I'm just rambling now, probably not many readers have got to this point. ha time for me to get some ZZZZZ have a good week all!
btw did I ever mention this kid in my night class who drives me crazy ( in a good way) I'm not all hot and heavy for the kid or anything, but he's just SO SO SO quiet, I mean never says a word, but he'll nod or say short yeses or no's and he's super smart and serious, but nice, and something about the quiet ones that makes me want to talk and talk to 'em and get some words out and a smile. I turn it full on in those situations when I like someone. Not this guy, it's just the type that does drive me crazy , the shy quite types, oh man! ha guess cause i'm just a talker and carrier on. :)