Sunday, January 08, 2012

sunny SUnday

anonymous comment about not labeling myself, I couldn't figure out what it was in response to and was reading some recent posts, then realized, oh it's my description up in the right hand corner... okay. I think sexual orientation remains clear if you just check out the photos posted on the blog, I don't think I've tried to deny anything on this blog. I wrote that five years ago when I started the blog, and I still pretty much agree that it shouldn't remain a label whether someone's straight or gay. Knowing whether someone is straight or gay is definitely significant when looking for someone to date or sleep with, no doubt. Otherwise people are people and I think mostly live the same lives, and in kind deserve all the same rights obviously.
Good SUnday Everyone! I had a really nice weekend, came home from work Friday and got a lot done and relaxed and crashed early I think. Saturday I ran a lot of errands, home Depot for flashlights and air duct sealant foil tape, also shopped for bathtub faucets, I need to get a kit to replace mine, and I also checked out countertops options while I was at it, also Lowes for Milorganite and pine bark mulch... went to my sister's house for a birthday party the family was getting together for over there, and back home but first a stop to the local public library. I didn't bring home my work laptop this weekend with Word on it. A former student had asked me to proofread a letter he'd written for his application to Parsons school of Design in NYC, thus I stopped off at the library to download the file, proofread, change, comment, and send back. whew thank goodness I was able to do that within the 30m minute time limit. ha.. I actually enjoyed reading through the New York TImes paper while waiting for my turn. THere a little insert in the SUnday paper called New York TImes magazine that I'd forgotten how much I love reading it! downtown OKC used to have a little bookstore that sold all sorts of magazines, HUGE variety! and one of the things they'd sell was the New York TImes magazines from leftover NYtimes SUnday papers..for just 75 cents. I used to buy those constangly and read read read them. the store closed a few years back I think 2007 maybe? anyway, now I know I can stop over to the library to enjoy such. too bad there's not a way of subscribing to just the magazine part. I know I know it's online and all, but not the same I really like having it in my hands.
last night I went over to my bud S house and went out for dinner at a new locally owned places called Cafe 7. great place, we had stopped for some frozen yogurt on the way home and then sat around for a while flipping channels and catching up. He was telling me all about he and his bf's new year in dallas. I've been speaking more on the phone with my Austin buddy since his breakup. he called last night to talk about his new singleness and all and I told him at least he had a dog there to keep him company. ha hope all having a great weekend. I'm back to a full work week tomorrow and in my newcomer classes we have 3 less students who didn't return after the break, and we lose one more Tuesday. His dad moved to an apartment in another school district etc.. so my classes are down to 8 students now which means we'll be combining some classes. I applied for the facilitator job opening and not heard back yet, so I'm thinking of writing a cover letter to the director of bilingual education. although I already know the guy since he just got that job and was a facilitator last year . ha


Anonymous said...


Thanks for responding to my anon post. I perhaps misunderstood your meaning -- while I understand how meaningless labels can be -- we still need to be able identify what someone or something is. Ask for a banana and you don't expect to get an orange, right?

While I get that you feel that a label doesn't change who you are as a person, it actually does. NOT identifying as a gay man sends the message that doing so is a bad thing to do and that being gay is a bad thing to be.

Your message seems to be, "Yes, I want to do all the things that encompass being a gay man, but don't you dare identify me as a gay man. I am not willing to embrace fully who I am. I am willing to send this message to anyone on the web or in my life that might be struggling with being gay. It is ok to have gay sex, but don't tell anyone that you are actually gay."

I think this message comes through loud and clear. The posting above my first post shows it -- "don't write off having the wife and family you so deserve man" -- as if you could suddenly become straight and perpetrating such a fraud on another person would somehow be ok.

How can you in good conscience send this message. As a gay man, I feel completely betrayed by such tactics. Our struggles are difficult enough without self-sabotage.

You need to get off the fence or just stop talking.

We all need to stand up for who we are -- no more closets.

I hope you will think about what I am saying.


Anonymous said...

Shawn, kinda harsh to tell someone to stop talking if they don't say something you agree with. That kind of intolerance created the closet.

Sexuality is complicated. That is about as absolute as you can state the case. I know a research scientist that is transgender, a biological woman transitioned to a man, and describes his sexual orientation as mildly attracted to males, so he chooses to be celibate.

Although, I am sure you mean well everyone has to choose a path, it cannot and should not be done for them.

robert said...

Shawn, that is kind of harsh! Although I must say that at the heart of the issue I agree, because I think the issue is we want Dan to be whole in who he is. I know from my own life that until I became fully myself, a gay Christian, to all who I love and that love me, I was hurting myself. I don't think this is about labels here it is about living fully as a whole person.