I'm out of sync or something. I went to grocery store yesterday and was standing at the checkout line and dropped this large bottle of olive oil. whack, splat, spill..
apologized to the guy in khakis and converse hi-tops in front of me, he was nice about it and we both kicked the shards into the center of the mess. then I pretty much just moved forward and checked out as fast as I could. well these things could happen to anyone I guess, anyone in a hurry enough not to go back and get a cart and instead try to carry 6 cans of tuna fish, bottle of olive oil, gallon of milk and a few other things up to the counter. today was a discouraging start to Monday. testing this week so I had my first hour for the first 4 hours of classes. I really don't like some of the kids in that class I decided, I think I have too kind/sensitive personality of a guy for this job. I can get kids in line and controlled, it's just the attitude and lack of respect, I write referrals, have called homes, it's just annoying! ha
thing is I just can't be a stone cold hearted disciplinarian, I don't have the knack for it. I'd like to think I understand my students, but kids taught no manners or social skills or taught to expect anything in life what with a goal of learning ENglish and getting an education... well I'm just from a completely different world. I know GOd has me there for a reason though. sort of like my Ninevah the way I look at it... perhaps working only one year there will be enough contribution. Whatever this experience is to teach me, is it all right to pray that one year will be enough!? ha ha. ahh well of course the rest of my day was great, other classes fine. and tonight's college class really wonderful. I mean 15 of 'em are still attending and listening and discussing and writing and man does that ever keep me going. of course at lunch today I was online searching out other schools in the area for esl positions, schools with let's say a bit more variety in demographic...too bad there are no refugee programs in OKC, that sort of job would be awesome.
A better week to all!
2 comments:
i think u subconsciously wanted to pick up on the guy in front of ya at the check out line...hahaha
on a serious note, sounds like you need a change in environment but you have to admit; though ur HS environment is challenging and frustrating, you are forced to be more creative in your teaching ways which is good. but if ur not thrilled about going back to the same HS after the summer, def find another job, 2012 is coming and the world is going to end, so hurry up- get a new job and a new partner/lover/sex slave, and be happy! :-)
D
You wouldn't be alone in asking if you have done enough. I'm reminded of what someone else once said:
"My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will." [Matthew 26:39]
I know you have hardly reached a point of despair but if you did, once again, you would be in good company:
"About the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "ELI, ELI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?" that is, "MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?" [Matthew 27:46]
Even Christ was only echoing what the Psalmist once said:
"My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why are You so far from helping Me, and from the words of My groaning? O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; And in the night season, and am not silent." [Psalm 22:1-2]
Hang in there buddy. We're praying for you.
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