Friday, October 15, 2010

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

great beginning to the week....

yup it's confirmed God wants to keep me guessing. I had a lot of fun with the ex gf last weekend, but wasn't feeling any pitter pat inside as far as budding romance is concerned. I was however really excited to see another friend from college (girl) that I used to run into at homecoming all the time and it'd been about 3 years since I've seen her. I am surprised that she's still single. A beautiful tall blond, smart successful zoologist, Christian, fellow college crowd friend. all that, but she lives way up north in one of the twin cities. oh yeah that and I've messed around with guys before, quite a few. still though, can't hurt to become facebook friends and message back and forth, if nothing else for a little single living support. ha
I've received quite a few emails on the last post. and wanted to make it clear how much of a hopeless optimist I can be. sadly somewhere deep inside I sort of already feel doomed to living single the rest of my life, but as I DO believe in God, I can remain with hope for one plan or another be that a girl, guy, friend, companion. LOVURRR. whatever, I want to catch the right door when it does open. that's all.
from the married people I want to say that I feel like I want to try it backwards, instead of getting married in college and having kids and then wanting to experience naked men, I sometimes feel like I've already done about everything naked with men that I'm interested in doing, had my fun, and ready to move on. I'm straight curious maybe, but that sounds lame , I know. but I really don't think I'd feel some awful emptiness, I'm already keeping sort of celiate lately anyway, so big deal what's the difference. . ha
I'm sort of really competitive with guys enough to not understand how I could "fall in love" with one. also the messing around has always been more like sharing a game of basketball fun than developing any relationship. but my gay friends would say that that's just because I'm not allowing myself to consider that possibility, raised Christian and all. ok ok ok. of course it's just as beautiful for those of you who have found your one man, I'm not against it by any means.
change subject. I found a house in my college town that I"m considering maybe buying as a rental. just a thought for now. I have to really think on those sort of ideas since like I said, i think so optimistically. this week is awesome, kids are doing good at school, and I'm jsut counting down to fall break. AUSTIN. my gay buddy down there is currently in a sober house because he had a relapse recently, but he can come and go as he pleases, and I'll stay one night with him there, and the rest in his condo near downtown where his bf is living. also his bf said I could get a massage (he's recently been going to school for masseuse (sp?) ). man am I ready for fall break. :)

Sunday, October 10, 2010