Tuesday, December 07, 2010
I dont' ever want to grow up!
I want to continue to try every new thing and see every new place and learn how to do every new thing! I have absolute goals, definitley. I plan to eventually have my doctorate and teach at a college fulltime. And I realize I am very much an adult, and I LOVE IT, I love knowing what I can and can't do and the possibilities that still await me. I LOVE being responsible enough to save up for the things I want to do, I LOVE being secure enough to let my creative expressive side flow... I love having the experience and understanding of dealing with all kinds of people. I am both forever realistic and optimistic. I by no means am just sitting around waiting for something to happen. yes, I AM in complete control of making any change happen in my love life. I realize that. I don't mean to whine or complain on this blog, and I know that I do go on about the choices I have made and the effects they've had, for example no children. I also remain focused on keeping my motivations in life on my faith, not my sexual drive regardless which sex that is geared to find. I'm not in fear of anything, I am exactly where I'm supposed to be and only moving forward. I'm am not in fear of my parents or others or anything ... in the closet or no I agree things have definitely and only gotten better as the years go by. absolutely. ok anyway, this was just a response to the last post comment. I wrote some things off the top of my head and I think it came across as a complaint. just thoughts, as always. This blog side of me is only one very small perspective. Writing helps me gather these thoughts sometimes. keep the comments coming. or don't just enjoy the pics. if so. :)
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3 comments:
Seems to me that you have grown up very well! Well enough to realize you are the one you ultimately have to please and love yourself. Sure you may end up in a relationship with a man or woman, but either way It will be of your own choosing! I chose to marry traditionally and it has not worked out the best in the world for the masculine side of the attraction. My wife is not understanding, but then again I didn't tell her first(my mistake)!
Just make sure whoever you might end up with knows for sure about your inclinations. I don't think they will ever completely go away for one or the other. At least not in my experience!
I love your confidence and sense of self.
Regarding your first sentence, it doesn't mean that you will stop trying new things and wanting to see new places later. I got the sense from some things you've mentioned that you are a bit afraid of growing older.
Its WAY premature to talk about a relationship and kids when you have never had sex with a woman or oommitted to a 2nd or 3rd date with a man.
Your love life consists of online porn, blogs, and your personal fantasies; where no one can hurt you or disappoint you.
Either you want a relationship and you can't seem to pursue one, or you really don't want one. Consider getting some professinal help aligning your thoughts and actions.
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