while I have a connection going here at the house I thought I'd post. ha sorry not that regular lately, I had so much more time working part time last year huh? for posting... I am settling into the new job. it's funny my worst classes lately are going smoother than what I thought were my easily managed classes. a reverse sort of situation... the kids are great.. it's something sublime how closed and cold and unwilling to FEEL they may seem, but week after week I'm getting just a very few more "hello mr. XXXX" when they come into the room, or even asking me a question like "did you go to the fair"... so seeing me as an actual person is a start.
I decided to put up on the board and maybe on the wall eventually the saying "Life is good".. I know it sounds cheesy, but I thought it would just be a sort of visual reminder for the ones who've already given up on any hope or dream beyond the pandillo life of an illegal immigrant. Another thing on my mind is the kids with unstable adult relationships at home, you never know if they have parents or a parent, or if it's just relatives, and then hopefully there are none with any abusive situations or drunks etc.. that applied to any kid of course, but these kids are definitely more toward the lower poverty spectrum. I like providing a bit of consistency in their lives even if it's just one hour a day of a friendly welcome and encouragement that "you're speaking ENglish, that's right, good job...." etc..
well that's enough off my mind about work for now. I want to explore in some future posts about my thoughts lately on how opposite my dad and I are times and how I feel sometimes I never got enough affirmation. whine whine. also thoughts about the whole straight dude attraction guys have and not "gay" guys whatever that is. and then another thing I've been thinking about are the gay guys who want to get off regardless of you, and then the gay guys who just want you to get off. what's up with that, and then the psychology behind it, and I've been thinking how does that compare to str8 guys who just want to get off, or also please the girl etc.... and also pet peeves in gay chat... like "do you shoot big loads?" who cares dude, am I here to perform or just enjoy and get off? anyway, for another day. later