it's actually clear skies and not raining today. not that I"m complaining, the whole foggy cloudy misty rain here and there week, well it's been real nice and fall like. I've mentioned before I like the seasons changing and I missed it last year.
However, I am looking forward to it getting over 60 today and getting outside some to take a break from grading all these dang informative essays, 75 turned in on Wednesday. fun!
I was off the entire day yesterday and only went through 8. now that rate HAS to change today since I plan to get to the gym and then work tonight at 530 the rest of the evening.
one thing I accomplished finally yesterday (I'm really good at getting little things done when there is a pile of things to put off) is getting some files moved around on my computer. basically all the photos from my work laptop a year ago, and then the ones since on this laptop, and I had all these file within files to click on to get to stuff. so that finally I made a 2008 and 2009 file and put them right off of the main picture file. and then managed from there those from travel or home. and then of course a whole seperate soft porn/porn file which unsurprisingly has been kept very well organized. hmmm
I've been contacted by my Austin bud, who's been a bit distant lately what with getting all serious one year with his bf and now working for him, and he mentioned they'd be in NYC in Nov and I should meet 'em there, saying that P, the hot investment banker I met in Santa Fe last summer, wanted to see me too. ha.
I researched some prices online yesterday and there are some delta flight for $188 roundtrip to LGA and I have a $100 voucher from my DC flight last summer so that is cool. and then I can get a hotel room for $120 a night at a cheap place I like on 34th and broadway. BUT overall, I'm not sure if i want the trip that badly...chance are Austin bud is on his own schedule with bf the whole time and I maybe will see him once, and then P and me may or may not actually click and who knows what his expectations are. ha plus I'm working part time and extra time at this haunted house to help my living frugally. on the other hand, I haven't flown anywhere since JUNE and dan is ready to get out of OKC and see what's out there again! I got plenty in savings to pay for the trip and fun in NYC but we'll see, just not feeling it right now.
man talk about not feeling it, was thinking about kids again this week and how my brother has 2 girls and I'm the one left to carry on the family name, and how I wish I would have had kids and definitely one of them a boy. and I was getting ideas on how to date girls again. it's not as easy after college for some reason. guys online are easy.
guess who's going to U2 this SUnday!!! my ex gf is coming in town from AR and we are going to be living it up at the show in Norman, opening band Black Eyed Peas and then U2 live at the OU stadium.. woot woot. going to be a busy weekend, I better get on some of those papers...
7 comments:
Also the UT vs OU game on Sat, so yeah busy. Give those essays an A for the old junior college effort.
I think you should go to NYC. You may not be feeling it until you do it. Give the I-banker a chance, living in NYC he probably has countless opportunities for casual sex, so who cares what his expectations are? See what happens. You can't turn down opportunities forever, your setting yourself up to be a lonely old man.
After 3 years I wish you could adjust to the fact you're gay. You don't seem to ever get past this cycle of guilt. The traveling was good, but you landed right back in a comfort zone. You are long past college yourself, but you don't seem to want to let go of it. I cheer for you sometimes, but more often than not, you step right back into the visiting college friends, old girlfriends, small references to the parents and family, and the need to have children and a wife. We are the readers, you are the script writer. I only wish you'd take a leap and leave OKC, not for travel, but permanently; find out how living outside your comfort zone might be the best decision you ever made. It could provide you opportunity to still teach, or work in corporate training, but more importantly, lead to an occupation and career which is rewarding, and provide personal growth, and maybe even a realationship with Mr Right. Choices are never simple, and it's easy for us to think of what is best for you based on our own experiences. But, I hope you don't go down the path of finding a wife, having a child, and then tricking with men on the side. What kind of life would that be? Somehow at this point, I seriously doubt you'll ever 'come out'. But I'll stop by your blog and catch up from time to time, and perhaps I'll be proven wrong someday.
hey thanks tons for the comments, rereading the post makes it sound sort of whiney and a downer. sorry bout that. the ex gf from AR, she knows I like guys and we are jsut awesome friends.
I also never plan to get a wife and kids. I've accepted it, but I still just fantasize what if, that's all it is. I may still yet go to NYC...
Enjoy the Show, hope you get Lucky with her
hey you should check out The Jane hotel in the West Village, rooms are $100/night and it's all brand new, a remodeled building that used to house sailors so it's got a really cool concept. Small rooms but very, very swift. Next time I go that's where I'm staying
Hey Anonymous @After3years there are a multitude of ways to organize a well lived life that don't conform to either "finding Mr. Right" or "getting married...and turning tricks."
I hardly believe in Mr Right anymore, and fully think it is about making things how you want them.
I know a beautiful married couple where the wife supports him in having loving sexual relations with a man.
There is no cheating. Only openness and acceptance.
Dan, be who you want to be. Only you know how to navigate the seas of your life.
But don't open yourself up to a whole new depth in your life as you have appeared to do over the last three years, just to find yourself in the same tyranny, just on the opposite shore.
Be yourself. Surely you are beautiful and exactly who you are meant to be.
If you want to live frugally, why not dump your Ranger and get a fuel-efficient Honda? You'll save a ton in gas. Besides, the Arab countries are persuading Goldman Sachs to raise prices again. I've heard reports of fuel jumping 12 cents in some places a few days ago.
And it's good to know you're not really planning on getting a wife. You should marry because you want a girl, not for selfish reasons. Besides, you can still have kids. Find a lesbian friend who wants the same and do in-vitro.
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