Wednesday, June 10, 2009

blog rolling

good post up on Justin in Chicago's blog about poppers. Overall, people are free to do as they please when it comes to the bedroom more or less, but I completely agree with him on the turn-off of a guy saying, mind if use poppers. Somewhere along the line, I told myself that if I ever needed something besides my mind and body to enjoy sex, then I was trying way too hard and should probably give it a break. ha
SO that includes poppers, cock rings, all other drugs, toys etc etc etc... I mean seriously you keep pushing the limits then where are you going to stop. It's cool if you don't agree and perhaps going to the extreme. no prob, just not for me.
Another blogger at a popular dude's secret life, is worth checking out if you haven't read his latest posts lately. The guy is having a difficult time with the idea of his parents getting divorced and the stability at home coming apart. He mentioned some things about having feelings of suicide before, but lately just feeling down and wondering of why go on living when his trials of meeting guys doesn't really get him anywhere etc etc.
The dude is in NYC I think this summer, so he just needs to get OUT to clubs and bars and gee whiz anywhere, he's bound to meet normal gay guys around and do some actualy dating without having meet up for hook ups as an only way to meet a guy. Of course I'm in OKC so what do I know.
I will say that I often have the exact same feelings of why go on with life, and what's the point, and I feel like God might as well take me now. I mean not that often, but the idea has come to me before (and I would never and could never end my life myself, my faith definitely sustains me in knowing I'm here for a reason) . Usually I don't let myself go down that train of thought, like how I'll never have kids, never get married, and what's the point of getting older if you dont' have your own children to train and raise and pass on every part of your experience in the world onto. so that you can pass on the better part of that world so as only to improve the experience of your own kids. etc etc. ( blah blah to those who say adopt, that's a wealthy gay man's road as I see it)
I can't complain too much about being single, since I haven't fully accepted myself as gay and come out to my family about it. So pretty much the fact that I'm alone and not meeting anyone is my own fault and only I'm to blame. I know I know...ha
anyway, check out the blogs either the links or on the right......


Anonymous said...

Loneliness is a real problem in the gay community, but it doesn't have to be. Men often times won't work hard enough at establishing relationships and friendships with others.

Happiness is an allusive creature, that usually requires hard decisions and sacrifices in order to achieve.

Few people are really willing to make those hard decisions and persevere to happiness. Example, might be a battered or abused wife that won't leave her husband because of all the hard decisions and uncertainty with starting a new life.

You don't have to rich for adoption (that's private adoption). Become a foster parent and adopt from there. I know several individuals and couples that have adopted kids 5 years old and up with good results. Also, the state usually provides extra services as an incentive to adopt such a kid. Check into it.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for bringing up a tough topic - but ending life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem - get out and be around people, help a friend that is down & out, make a connection, enjoy all that is amazing around us. Accepting ourselves is the first step towards happiness. I firmly believe that I was made this way, it is not a choice, the only choice is to live my truth or live a lie.

To me, a great thought to ponder is "if we are all here for a reason, what is my purpose?"

Thanks for starting this topic - good luck on your journey and please keep posting.

Bobby said...

A very close friend of mine committed suicide a few years ago. We never really knew what was the crux that pushed him over the edge but there was much speculation. I suspect it was ultimately depression, but I wish someone could have got to him before his depression got so deep and could have helped him understand that there is NOTHING that comes our way that we can't overcome. I wish he’s have understood that many people have gotten divorced, went bankrupt, lost children/friends tragically, and certainly suffered grief but were able to overcome. Loneliness included. So many times I think we feel that we are the only one that feel so depressed or lonely and we isolate ourselves. When depression gets out of hand it becomes a physiological problem, not just psychological... at that point there isn't much hope sans an intervention. Everyone should be aware that isolation and depression could be toxic to the point of life threatening if unchecked. Our bodies and brains, although amazingly resilient, can also be incredibly fragile as well. Take care of yourselves my friends, and remember that God says, 'It is not good for man to be alone!'

JUSTIN said...

"ending life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

Couldn't agree MORE.

Mikey said...

"loneliness is a real problem in the gay community"
I think that loneliness is a problem in the world; I don't believe gay people are anymore lonely, depressed, rich, poor, artistic, etc. than straight people.
If you're lonely, you have to meet new people and you do that by being around people you don't know. I believe you get back what you give. So if you are friendly and outgoing, talk to people you don't know, smile, be nice, etc. you will meet people who are friendly, outgoing, nice, etc.
I also believe that you can leave the world a better place in many ways, without having kids. We can do that by having positive influences on anyone you come in contact with. Often we don't know the changes we have in the world, we just have to believe that we do.

Jake Walsor said...

dude this is so friggin nice. You have no idea how happy it made me feel. thanks man. you are awesome for being there man.

Mercutio said...

Sounds like you're getting closer to accepting yourself, and I'm sure that you'll find that reason in life that sustains you soon. If nothing else, an educator is passing on so much to the rest of humanity, whether they're younger or not, and ideas and culture are every bit as important as physical genes.
Really enjoy your blog and hope this new trainer works out well. Don't overdo it!