email from a friend today quoting the American Phychological Association's stance on homosexuality found on their website here...
and the quote:
"There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles...."
the quote left off the final sentence, " most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation."
ahhh. what a mystery....
I found this quote from the site interesting:
"Sexual orientation is commonly discussed as if it were solely a characteristic of an individual, like biological sex, gender identity, or age. This perspective is incomplete because sexual orientation is defined in terms of relationships with others. People express their sexual orientation through behaviors with others, including such simple actions as holding hands or kissing. Thus, sexual orientation is closely tied to the intimate personal relationships that meet deeply felt needs for love, attachment, and intimacy. In addition to sexual behaviors, these bonds include nonsexual physical affection between partners, shared goals and values, mutual support, and ongoing commitment. Therefore, sexual orientation is not merely a personal characteristic within an individual. Rather, one’s sexual orientation defines the group of people in which one is likely to find the satisfying and fulfilling romantic relationships that are an essential component of personal identity for many people."
It's interesting to think of it including the whole relationship overall, some guys consider it just about the sex. Especially when I consider closet guys who want the sex part only and miss out on the relationship, which could be considered not truly homosexual if they are in it for the sex only. However my definition has always been more if you are having sex with the same sex, what they say is an incomplete definition of homosexuality, which is why the above quote interests me since it includes the whole relationship thing.... blah. whatever.
3 comments:
I didn't really consider myself 'gay' until I came out, even though I accepted i was. I realized I couldn't be in a functional relationship until i had come out and was able to treat the other person with the respect and openness they deserved. It's also why i came to hate sex clubs and bath houses, and those that defend them as integral to the "gay lifestyle"
You know using the apostle peter's story of how what was unclean is now clean in the eyes of the lord, you can make a strong argument that it is the intent and seriousness of the relationship that matter not whether you are gay or straight. But it has been my experience that most christians don't care and are unable to reconcile the sex part with the love part and your arguments will be ignored.
yeh for me, being gay is wanting to have a relationship with a man. Just like in a hetero marriage where sex is maybe 10% of the quotient, it's more about companionship etc, and I want all that with a man. It's the mannerisms of a male, the smell of him, the way he sits, the way he feels at night when we cuddle, the weight of him, and sure, that turns me on as well but it's also meaningful in a bigger way. When I'm 90 and no longer interested in sex I will still want a man in my bed. I've had a woman in there, and if I had to choose between a woman and a big furry friendly dog, well . . .
I think I'll just stick to men thanks :)
I guess I am a little more hard core about being gay. I am gay because I like sex with men! Wanting a close intimate relationship with another is essentially "human". Some gay men have that with a woman, but that does not make them str8 in anyway. It is the sex thing that counts. I have written about this in my blog before.
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