Friday, May 23, 2008

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I'm very much alive thanks...........

thanks for all the comments, always appreciated. I like having a blog just to get it out there, thoughts, ideas, questions, wonderings etc...
I thought about the idea of how not coming out of the closet is like killing yourself and commiting suicide because you are already dead etc etc. and I thought about it and then i decided nah thats rubbish. that sort of romantic notion of only having a true life based on where I'm putting my dick is just not how I was raised to think, or indeed what I even expect out of a true dream of quality of living. I believe that like animals we are meant to mate for life, and the whole fall in love and have sexual intamacy with that one person the rest of your life is definitely a great ideal expectation to have in life. and perhaps the point made is that if you are in the closet you'll never find it. understood. but I think people still get a LOT out of life whether or not paired for life. I believe all the many many single people in the world whether gay or straight are leading fulfilling productive lives in some capacity. Sex fulfills maybe ten minutes to an hour of peoples life, but the real joy I belive comes from thinking, doing, creating, planning, laughing, interacting with people, learning, all sorts of stuff beyond when or who you are sleeping with. (except the single person is missing the JOY of having one true partner to share your body and everything else with in life, your time, activities, worries, cares, dreams, goals, ideas etc.....,day in day out)
I also have to say, that I don't believe I was created to live a wasted life, shut myself down for being gay and not truly experiencing all the gay sex and relationships I "could have been having". On faith I believe that regardless of what decisions I've made to follow this inclination towards sleeping with men or not, that my life has been lived completely as God has planned. Yes, single can get lonely. but I've learned more about myself each step of the way and will continue to do so. Whichever path I eventually choose to go down I'm living, making a difference, and I'm happy, and experiencing a lot. Optimistic for whatever outcome, ain't easy but it's not exactly killing me either, figuratively or subconsciously. :)

latest ebay purchase


i've been reading this book (that is a complete other post...). well anyway, it mentioned MUJI brand of Japanese products so I did a quick ebay search and found these speakers. They are made of cardboard that fold into a small speaker set for your IPOD, suggested for desk use or travel. I doubt the sound will amount to much but they looked pretty cool so I went ahead and bought a set. I'll get to posting about the book soon.

Monday, May 19, 2008