Saturday, August 18, 2007

remember the guy freaking out about stds.......

he called today, the one who's in a public office and was freaking out a month ago about messing around with a guy who sucked him off and he later found out was HIV positive....
well, he was driving himself crazy researching all over the internet etc... went to Tulsa to a clinic because He can't trust any doctor here, and then finally went to Tennessee because his cousin is doctor there and got tested and was free and clear and now he's just going to play it really really safe if at all with dudes. He realizes that the fear and anxiety is most brought on by guilt as if he's punishing himself for the situation he'd put himself in etc.. (either of being with a guy or crossing with this comfrotable boundries of what's safe with guys).
he wants to go for coffee soon and talk since I am the only one he can be himself with, yadda yadda yadda.... also he encouraged me to stop sucking any guys, and be careful etc etcv etc.. well that's no problem. he was the last one I mess with and that was June 1 the same weekend the roomie moved in. Actually I'm proud of myself for not messing around with any "buds" in okc or new "hookups" either this summer, and that's one of the reason I got a roomate in the first plave. you know, build a little self respect, and let the sex fun come naturally by dating a guy or girl first. if that's not too much to ask. ALthough honestly, if I'd made plans for Austin next weekend (and I didn't, curse it all, I promised not to go down this year unless cordially invited and dang it all if I never got that invite! which makes 1 labor day NOT in Austin in 3 years...) well I i had gone to Austin next weekend, I would have been on the prowl most likely looking for some action, not unlike Justin chicago boy last weekend... ahh yeah, you stud.
good weekend all.

other news... my marine buddy in Utah never emailed back, but I'm going to email him again tomorrow and continue reaching out the hand of friendship. I know he HAS to be gay, I'm serious, he just HAS to be. and I figured the chances of ever seeing him again are so slim, that I might as well just try to keep in touch and maybe somehow try to come out and discuss what the hell happened before and see if he's willing to admit anything, or better yet VISIT. ha ha

roomie is wearing flimzy shorts tonight nothing else. we watched a lame ass stupid movie, I mean even for stupid guy movie genre films, this one was LAME. but we watched regardless. "Idiocracy" blah!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

memories and the girl

I was so horny tuesday night, and I emailed my old buddy who joined the marines after messing with my mind in college and going to Maranatha bible college, really strict place. This guy once drove all night from AR all the way up to Wisconsin to rip off some wave runners from this rich guy's house he did summer work for on the lake. Anyway, he gets up there with a truck and trailor he borrowed from some other guy at our school. The waverunners are gone, so he just takes a stereo, tv, games, cd's, speakers,, etc etc and drives back the very next morning all in one trip. anyway, he sort of flipped, went to a doctor, was told he had a chemical imbalance, etc etc etc.. this guy also was naked a LOT, also was the one who got me started working out in college, and then sort of played mind games with me wrestling me down a lot and grinding some on me, feeling him get hard, etc etc...woke up some ideas i hadn't really considered too much before blah blah. well anyway, he ended up taking all the stuff back and confessed to the guy he worked for, who didn't press charges but the county did fine him for all the hours wasted on investigating the crime.
THis guy also streaked the girls dorm with the other dude one night in college. he was fit and hard like a gymnast or wrestler build, worked out constantly and was tight, blond hair etc...
well he joined the marines like I said, was married for about a year or more then divorced and single now... hmm makes you wonder. especially considering the time he quiet school and stayed in Iowa for a couple weeks and then came to visit and told me about what happened with this guy at the gym there, and then one night in bed he asked me if I ever shared a bed with a gay guy before, and I said no ( thinking to myself at the time that I thought maybe I was gay) and then he told me "well you have now" and I remember laughing it off and I was so tired I just fell asleep....
anyway what I was going to write, is that I emailed him Tuesday night, just to see what he's up to in Utah where he trains guys mountain climbing now. This is the guy I mentioned before that I would ever consider going all the way with and like do an emotional relationship type thing with. he's still in the service now though, but I'm going to see if we correspond some more maybe we can meet up again someday.. never know.

and the girl from work, left me this card in an envelope next to my cans of tuna fish and bread in the office at my night job for me to find, and it was a thank you for being a "friend" and taking her to the snow patrol concert. well that's all sweet and fine, but I hadn't asked her out the last few weekends or this one, so I'm pretty sure she can understand its a friends deal only at this point....

dan almost makes a big mistake at home with the roomie.....

went to the gym for my usual 2-3 mile run around the track but after 15 minutes of running I started thinking about a thumb drive I had in the computer last night. I was up a little late indulging myself since the roomate was gone for a few nights and I had the place to myself etc etc. ANyway, while running laps, I thought about whether or not I'd hidden the thumbdrive back in the back of my top drawer... you see my roomie uses my computer and was due back in town this evening at some point.
I started stressing a little, I mean if I were ever going to "come out" to str8 boy roomie it would be via discussion or him asking me etc etc. I had not planned on leaving a thumb drive full of man on man porn clips in the computer for him to find. I mean I would check a file if I sat down and found a new thumbdrive stuck in the front of the computer.
I went and gathered my clothes from the locker room and drove back into okc to my house, and sure enough there was the thumb drive, I removed it immediately, jumped in the shower, got ready for work, and came here to work tonight a little bit late, but definitely worth the extra errand running home first, dang.


I guess I won't be able to complain any longer about my roomie's idiocy or hapless indiscretion when he leaves lube in my room. seeing as how I can be just as careless. ha! ahh well , that's what I get for letting the guy share my computer at home I guess. I will definitely have to be more careful....

80 proof cotton and a pigskin.....anyone seen this movie ?

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

"that's freaking awesome"... that's what she said....



what's funny is hearing the ladies response to what they see.. ha

love me, brudda......











I dont think shopping has to be a gay thing, there is style and then there is spending money on anything name brand.. go for having a bit of style.


If I were in NYC right now I'd be shopping some striking interesting plaid button up shirts. 80's are still making a style influence and preppy plaid shirts are one thing you'll begin to see more of. Sort of like the horizontal striped short sleeve polo shirt was this summer and last...consider while shopping. The best thing is in the 80's growing up I was a STICK and now I can actaully fill the shoulders and chest of a nice long sleeve medium shirt just right, and I'm not muscle stud but after growing up a stick, its nice to see the shape of my body through the shirt and not just the shoulder blades or collar bone. ha ha

anyway, guys, dont' be afraid to get a shirt with some browns or grey in it, try wearing something not everyone else is wearing once in a while, ya know. Myself, I like a good navy blend of colors, or army/camo green blends in my fall shirts. understated and classic, it should be about what's your style and how it fits reallly more than anything....etc etc.. blah...

anyone listen to internet radio...............?


go to Windows Media (if using that) and click on Media guide, then on the right click on internet radio, then search for "bossa nova", the third choice should be SKY.FM . I did the same random search today after Aerosmith started playing on virginradio.com.uk and I clicked on SKY.FM station.... and it is very cool, international mix groovy laid back stuff. now if only I were in my room on the computer listening to this music with a significant other laying in bed behind me reading a book or something while we listened. OR maybe sitting on the floor leaning back on the couch while on my laptop at home and my significant other is laying on the couch behind me with arm hanging down resting across my chest while we're both hanging out listening and enjoying the others company. Ah well I guess sitting here staring at the adult students in the computer lab tonight will have to do....

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Monday, August 13, 2007

dans' favorite things..........


I bought some shoes while in Grand Rapids and I've been wearing them a lot lately. They are extremely comfortable and just look pretty sharp overall. plus I've been wearing a lot of brown lately. well anyway, yeah I know we probably couldn't get any gayer than a post about shoes. but I want to blog about my new favorite pairs of shoes. nice dark brown hemp, with leather around the back of the heal. great arch support, and then it's lined wiht leather inside as well. exremely comfortable and a great unique look compared to converse (which I have plenty of btw...ha). Patagonia has a website here selling some great looks in shoes, and you can believe they are all built to last. check it out.

blog appreciation week 2 -- Debriefing the boys

I didn't get as many shout outs in as I thought I would last week, so I'm continuing blog appreciation....
Debriefing the boys! This was one of the first coming out blogs I began to read, every word well written,smart and real; here was this guy -- the town stud who couldn't imagine taking himself down off of the pedestal his family had him on. But he did it, and everyone still loved him of course, and I imagine he remains the same super all around intelligent guy.... anyway,this guy is super sharp and a great writer. I have always appreciated his upbeat and optimistic outlook as he's stepped out the last year or more and started living comfortably with himself being gay, and comfortable telling his family and all else. Anyway, it's his opinions on things in the gay world and how he decides which parts he is willing to include in his own life that have me cheering for him every step of the way.
Check out his blog here now, and catch up on the latest posts: For example his views on the innocence of nudity ( my mom grew up in Long Island where the boys had the pool to themselves during swim class and wore nothing during practice...times have definitely changed) OR his views on too much pornography, everything he says in that post is true, but who'd want to really read it or accept it, yet he posts it without concern of popularity of readers' opinions.

probably most bloggers already check Debriefing the boy more than this one. but I had to give him a shout out. (For those of you who have been reading his blog, does anyone remember whatever to the intern he worked with last summer who he thinks he could have messed around with but he didn't want to make the guy have a gay experience, and then they went on a weekend trip but that was the last we heard of that guy wasn't it?... I think I remember something like that..)

Continue on Matt, you speak truth of not just discovering being gay, but discovery of the gay community and the world's reaction to it: the good, bad and ugly of both. It remains a constant intelligent account of the experience. Thanks tons from this closet gay blogger.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

when willl i built like.........



just some nice tall strong hot looking guys from a site online I was checking last night for some reason or another....
the guy in yellow's pic actually showed everything below but I like to try and keep this blog a little cleaner. I thought it was funny thought that someone pasted his face pic over his dick pic, it'd be hot to see the original pic, makes me curious if he was hiding his face under a hat or something...