Thursday, July 05, 2007

Please see the original first (if you can appreciate foreign film)

Mostly Martha, in German, is an excellent food movie. ItIt ranks just behind my other favorite food movies: "Eat, Drink, Man, Woman," and "Babbette's Feast".
BUT the movie is really really good considering the story of a controlling expert detailed chef who suddenly takes custody of her neice who's mother just passed away, and learns to juggle her responsibility to the girl and the restaurant, and then there is also the new man chef hired to help out and of course possible fall in love......... REALLY GOOD MOVIE.
The reason for this post is a new movie comes out Friday called "No Reservations" and is bascially the same movie but in English. I will see it, but I do recommend you see "Mostly Martha" also.

bit of drama yesterday

I hope everyone had a great 4th yesterday, perhaps you're on vacation away from the computer for the rest of the week. even better. I'm supposed to be up at Cape Cod this week but the deal fell through, apparently something between my bud in Austin and his ex caused a change of summer plans. NOw I can only look forward to our yearly weekend to his parents cabin up on Gran Lake north east of Tulsa. hopefully before school begins---

SO, about the drama, I get a call from a former "bud" here in OKC. one of the shyest cleanest best looking guys I've ever met off the internet, I hadn't really seen him in a long long while since he was married.... anyway, now he's divorced. He needed to talk so we met at a nearby starbucks and ended up talking for 2 hours about how he met a guy off the internet 10 days ago at this hotel, and how yesterday morning he had an emission come out of his dick after waking up and he was afraid he caught gonorhea rom the guy.
Apparently he went to the bathroom in the hotel room and looked in the guy's stuff and found a weekly tray of pills where each day has 4 pills in it, and one of them was valtrex. He decided right there the guy was prolly HIV+. He had read online that if you have an STD you are more likely to transmit HIV. Not only that but he was making himself sick thinking he had HIV and how his whole life was ruined because he seriously seriously can't let anyone find out he swings "both" ways family and mostly job and life ruined. THE THING is my friend recieved oral from the hotel guy and kissed him and that is ALL! So he is at low risk, right?

well, he had the emission, and he has been on the internet all week researching for symptoms of HIV and is convinced that he has all these signs. I tried my best to relax the guy and calm his fears some and say worse things worse is he has an STD, that's it! And how even if he things this guy was HIV+ then if he was on medication that prolly made him even less likely to transmit anything with his saliva or any blood in his mouth etc...and how even if STD's make it more likely to transmit, it's not going to magically transmit through kissing or recieving head(although receiving head has extremely LOW LOW LOW risk and it's basically in theory)....I mean this guy was really scared. He wanted to go to a doctor to get tested and pay cash so his insurance has no record of it, but we drove to a few and everything was closed July 4th, I think he went today maybe.

Anyway, he says he cant be as calm and at peace about it like I am, and he asks me how can I not be scared about getting a disease when I've given oral before. And I tell him I guess it's all about the kind of guy I try and meet or whatever.. I don't know, It's just that everybody has there own line of safety. At this point the last few years in OKC I've been with few and those few have been guys I've known for a while....(dude from Mem weekend, and Austin withstanding).

The fact is he is the bascially closet guy who can never come out because of his job, not to mention his family and all that. The good thing is he has already found other guys stories online who have the exact same hypochondriac fears from doing a few things with a guy and going crazy the whole world is over and everyone is going to find out. I could never live in that fear. I mean if someone found out, so be it!!! I don't want that right now, but I definitely could deal with it, probably a new job maybe, or new location, I don't know but I could deal somehow....

He is a religious Christian type guy so I asked him why he wasn't praying about the whole mess in the first place. He was feeling realy guilty and thinking God was punishing him for messing around with the hotel guy. I told him GOd does judge, yet He is mostly a loving God. I also told him that regardless of judgement, there are consequences for bad choices. For example bad choices of having sex without a condom, that is a gamble ( and you are an idiot if you believe any guy who says don't worry about it!! always CONDOM!!). BUT his choices were definitely on the safe side of keeping the line a very safe one by receiving oral only...

ok no more, that is just the sort of thing we were going on and on about yesterday. He trusted me enough to give me his cell number and real name, so I hope to provide any further support I can give. I plan to call him tonight and see if he found a doctor today who could calm his nerves a bit. he said he finds it hard to sleep at night and all that.

UPDATE: (in true JR style------) just phoned the guy and he read on a sanfrancisco website all last night which made him feel better about being practically NO risk at all. and he got an email from the hotel dude who swore up and down it was heart medicine and the valtrex was for his feverblister coldsores. He is going to the county health clinic tomorrow morning so I tried to tell him you are NOT that one in a million!!!)

WEEKEND is near, I'm READY!!!

damn stereotypes.... or is it England

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

happy 4th everybody.......

Thanks readers for...

well who needs a gf when you can get some good gay blog advice on purchases right here. ha! I loved hearing the comments and it has been a very popular link checking out the bag.
So I finally made the purchase last night. I'm not going to hold my breath: I hope to receive it before my trip at the end of the month. (Here's another good website for travel gear called FLIGHT 001)
I hadn't mentioned it but last week I bought a ticket to Grand Rapids, MI. last weekend of JUly my ex-roomate from when I lived in Central AMerica is having a birthday. So I'm going up there to visit him, the wife, and their kid. I haven't seen him since coming back to the states so it's about time.
I also haven't mentioned going out with "the girl" on this blog. she returned a year ago from Central america and fills in at my night job every now and then and was in my art class last summer and basically we just have a whole lot in common and she likes doing stuff on weekends with people instead of just sitting at home..... anyway long story short we have a lot of fun and I pay when we are out to eat, but I don't think she sees it as dating but more as friends. I haven't really given any siganl I'm interested in more than social at this point but I'm not sure what she's thinking. It's not like I'm acting like I'm looking for some big serious relationship, so the comments of "leading her on" don't seem to apply. If I felt like she was thinking it was a dating thing then I'd have the big decision of defining the relationship and bascially me having to decide what I'd want to do. But for now, the last couple of weekends, it's been very nice to go out for lunch or dinner with somebody, movies, or show places I like in OKC with....She's applying for med school right now so I really like how smart she is...etc Not to mention the conversation, we both consider our Faith in God and our Christianity a central motivating factor in life. I tend to think if I were seriously looking for marriage material, I'd have to overcome the fact that she's not Protestant.
SO anyway there is a little personal update. I did want to comment that if I started taking out a guy, I think the same warning would apply of "not leading him on". seeing as how I'm not really committed to dating a guy and looking for that kind of relationship. I mean I pretty much fit into the category of guy that you see gay guys looking for when posting ads. Stable, educated, masculine, hung, in shape, employed, etc etc etc.. all that stuff, but some guy would find me pretty boring once we get passed the making out and/or oral since i have no interest thereafter. Or they'd disagree on my conservative views, or they'd want me to come OUT and/or marry etc etc. just thoughts here......
THis clip is Hilarious;