Thursday, May 03, 2007

anyone swimmin' this weekend?

weekend almost here guys!

THese are two shirt I was considering online tonight at FOSSIL (free shipping if spend $40, what a deal). They are pretty cool shirts and their fit is just right for me, but this would definitely be a trend look purchase and I prefer to get stuff witha classic plain look that I can sort-of wear forever. but....anyway, I'm trying to decide between the brown or blue. ......anyone got an opinion on that...?

My AUS BUD emailed last night saying "canu come dwn soon"... (thats him texting on his blackjack acutally.)

So I went online last night, thought about it today, then tonight found a new flight by EXPRESS JET that was roundtrip and only $177 so I bought it! not bad and the flight is direct taking about an hour each way. sweet. so now I have plans for Memorial weekend and it's my usual thing that time of year to go down to Austin, always a fun weekend. Oh yeah, also will keep me motivated to HIT IT at the gym this next month. ha

BTW --- I'm not sure if the anonymous comment from OKC about SNow Patrol was from sean in norman or not, but whoever it was THANKS tons I'm going by the zoo amphitheatre this weekend to get tickets to the show!

hell yeah, SNOW PATROL twice in Oklahoma in one year and me at both shows... can it get any sweeter? AUgust 1, I'm there man!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

been to the gym yet? get inspired and go...


work week moves forward........

my latin bud DQ came to class tonight and last night. before leaving he sits in the chair in front of my desk and we'll talk for a bit. I like it just smiling back at him as we shoot the breeze. great guy, I was considering today, did I really want in this guys pants, and of course I know I'd go right there if the chance came up, but it's hard to say whether he'd even be willing, I mean some guys just connect and like each other without being a gay thing. We had a big ole long discussion tonight about the immigration that just passed and might be vetoed by the governor.
get this, it was passed Senate 41-6 and House 84-13, overwhelming support and yet the governor remains noncomittal using scapegoat comments like "it should remain a federal issue". I thought only republican presidents didn't listen to the vote of the people, this guy is democrat.
anyway, it's an awesome bill which restricts liscense or ids to illegals, and also strict fines on hiring illegals among other things etc... blah, anyway, I'm all for it obviously. But of course my bud is opposed, took him 6 days to walk across from mexico to Texas and he was thirsty and starving a lot of the time. Worked cheap jobs around Texas and was mistreated and paid poorly by many etc... he's a legal citizen now making good money as a certified welder and married to an American Mexican gal, but remains loyal to the guys whose place he used to be in.
so yeah he's hot.
Oklahoma city was chosen of 4 in the country to recieve federal grants against gain violence. also maybe interesting.....

guy next door.......

Monday, April 30, 2007

what is closet gay in oklahoma city anyway...... sometime I miss......

well I can't remember which blog I was reading, help me out if you know. But this "closet" guy who I think is latino has this blog, and he was saying how he considered getting a girlfriend again just because it beats being single and he missed having one. I was going to give him a shout out if I remember where it was. It made me think all weekend--- long after I read it. The reason is because I wonder sometimes if I still love my ex-gf, and I know that sounds weird, and I still don't like a lot of things about when we didn't get along, but I just really miss having her around, and holding onto my arm, or touching me on the shoulder or chest sometimes to get my attention or make a point. also we had very great discussions and debates on things. She also knows how to just listen to me blabbering on, and not have to aruge every point, but just sit there appreciating that I have all these ideas regardless if she agrees with any of it, not to mention my randomness.
I miss her smaller frame and how big hard and strong I'd feel next to her. I miss being useful and going over to help her with things at her house, or surprising her by mowing the lawn while she was at work. I still think very protectively of her, like a brother I guess, about how the next guy she dates better treat her right or I'd want to kick his ass.
anyway, feels good to post about it, and just get the thoughts out. I know it'd be crazy to ever try to get back with her, and I refuse to be "just friends" which is why we haven't spoken in 3 years and 4 months and 2 days, (who's counting anyway) I did send her a postcard from NYC thought because yes, although I was going to gay bars and meeting the Brazilian dude the one night, I still sort of wished she'd been there with me the whole time.
all right, now back to asking myself if I could ever fall the same for a dude, or am I only into some casual physical action with guys?.... Is it my religious upbringing that made the taboo of secret sexual contact with guys exciting? or was it just my lack of male attention at home that made me go crazy for what I got from my guy friends, I know there is a big born-that-way debate in there somewhere, but I think, me personally, I was just born sexual in general. I have this weird thing where I get exicted thinking about having sex over some hot willing girl wanting it, and its perfectly slick and wet and no condom needed and tight etc... and I don't ever consider f-ing guys, yet I do consider other guys jerking together or just submissive oral scenes and occasionally two guys f-ing but I'm never included in those fantasies.. anyway, why am I writing idea.

is staying single just plain selfish ?

lately I've been considering how the single life sucks and how selfish it is to remain single. I mean the independance I guess and how the only one I answer to at home is just ME.
Of course there are probably guys chained down to a wife or boyfriend who might want just that, and the grass is always greener. But at least those guys have experienced learning how to GIVE once in a while. Isn't that what relationships all about, getting along by giving in to the other person now and then or at least meeting in the middle. Sometimes my way sometimes your way etc etc.. Is staying single selfish in that one is not willing to share stuff with another, home, finances, schedules and where-you-are-going-to-be, decisions, the remote, shopping for food, laundry, not having money for something because it went to budget for something else...etc Or is a guy more likely to hate giving up all the random sex once they get in a real relationship. ( yes, I suppose there are gay relationships that exist that are not "open" or have one secretly slutting around, I'd like to hope so anyhow )
Is it selfish to be too picky and always find some fault as to why you don't "connect" with a person. and maybe never actually looking to date longterm..
well I don't know about all that, but I think we human are a social people and work better in pairs, groups, teams, etc.. I guess that's why single guys at least need some sort of "pack" to run with or be a part of, maybe, I dunno.
(of course this is coming from someone who's out of college and been single a while and whose pack of college buddies are all no longer single...different point of view prolly for any college boys reading this college i loved being single between gf's. ha)
all this to say I'm sick of being single, and I know I'd make a great other half, a great team player, I think I could give in now and then. I know it'd be really really hard to give up all the freedom I have now single, but I just know the benefits have to completely outweigh any of being single....just thoughts I had this weekend. I was installing some IKEA lights under the kitchen cabinets, ( which look awesome btw) and I was laying on my back shirtless on the counter with the screwdriver thinking, man I really wish there was someone here to be impressed by this, or at least come in and admire the new lights after installing them. maybe touch my stomach and say nice job handyman. something like that, and I think a woman would be more likely to appreciate it, maybe not but I picture another guy being too competitive to say anything nice, even if we were "boyfriends" , whatever that may be like..................hmmmmmm