Friday, February 02, 2007

labyrinth of the faun

just got back from seeing a movie with my str8 buddy from college, he's getting married in 3 months and his gf is gone this weekend. So, sweet deal, we got to hang out like old times some. went and saw "Pan's Labyrinth", was my choice. It's nominated for oscar foreign film this year. it's in spanish with English subtitles. if any of you think you can take it. see it! it's crazy. sort of like naked lunch and alice inwonderland meets 1944 rebel vs fascists in Spain war movie. man it still has me thinking because halfway through the flick nothing continued to go as you may expect. just really wild. and if you do see this movie come back and comment.

also, I have to say the hottest guys are always at the movies on the weekends. I can't help checking out all these hot guys on dates at the movies. I mean even when I took girls on dates to the movies I noticed. but even now with my bud with me, I can't help but try and catch some eyes of other guys out there. and its way below freezing and there are still these younger guys out with no coat on like idiots, but you know I was the same guy in college, wanting to be seen in what I had on and not wear the bulky coat into places. ha
Oh yeah, we ran into my trainer buddy after the movie with a date in the icecream place downtown. The poor guy looked like the right side of his face had been slashed. You know, guys, there are some of us who just really need a gf, wife, or friend or bf maybe around to take care of certain type of guys. the ones who have no clue what to wear, how to iron or WHEN they should, or when they slash their face shaving and are out with all this blood dried up all over your face. ahh well. I'm the same serious, took me a while after college to get it right living independant and without a team of roomates etc...

more cl pics............











Thursday, February 01, 2007

coldddd, the high is 26 tomorrow gee whiz!

I'm trying to figure out what to write in a letter to these two students of mine who were taken into DHS custody last week....they were new students beginning of last year. a sister and brother in middle school from central america. The dad married some lady in her 60s to get legal status and they actually all live together. well anyway, he's never been a great dad having no real discipline with the kids and likewise no respect from them either. the son keeps motivated at school by acheiving high grades and this year going out for soccer and football and all his teachers love that guy. the daughter takes her anger issues out on her teachers and has been in and out of the office and suspensions all this year. Well anyway, what happened is their dad and the lady went to central america for a 5 week vacation ( the girl told me that her so called step mother was going to have plastic surgery done while there or something). well the first week of them being gone, she brings pills to school and offers one to some kid and is sent to the office, no one can be reached at home, and so DHS is called in and they take them both into custody. man I was really upset today when I heard from my principal that the father had spoken to them twice on the phone and both times was telling the daughter how it was all her fault this happened since it was her getting in trouble that started the whole thing. The dude just doesn't get it! i mean the girl is obviously screaming for attention with all this behaviour crap anyway. So yeah they both speak pretty good English I jsut tutor her daily to keep her motivated and caught up in classes, and i taught the boy last year but this year he didn't need too much extra help really. But now I jsut wish they could get back into school, and they can't until some family member takes them into custody, and today the case worker said she'll have to find a foster family but there aren't really any available, and I can't imagine how much it probably sucks lliving at the shelter whatever that means. I'm also hoping they don't end up at the public school where they are in the county, it really really sucks. plus the kids already adjusted to this one last year as new kids. So I'm going to write a letter that just says how I miss them at school, how great it will be to come back (when/if possible) and how I'll be helping get them all caught up on missed work etc... and then I can't send it until I have time tomorrow after school to buy some comic books and magazines and stuff to send along with the letter.
I can only imagine what'd I'd be doing for my own kids, if I'd ever had any. they would have had me wrapped around their finger i bet. ha!
well this has nothing to do with my gay blog, but with privacy laws I can't really blog about it on my real one. so this anonymous one was better for it.
I'm looking forward to the weekend. worked out my back and shoulders today, and work was really slow with the roads bad and all but at least I worked. I'm waiting for these two Guatamalan brothers to come back in and start class. they were in Tuesday night wanting to enroll and asking all these questions, and they'd laugh every time I rambled off in Spanish. was a lot of fun seeing those guys, can't wait to see more of 'em in class. ahh yeah....
also got an email from a girl friend from my singles group I used to hang with. She invited me to this social thing at her church tomorrow night saying i HAVE to be there meet her friends. hmmmm? no idea what that means. but I know I don't like her church at all, it's a "pray for riches and prosper" philosophy tyep church. jsut terrible. anyway, if it's a social thing only I'll prolly go just to check out who I'm supposed to meet.

please put a shirt on!

keep training fellas........summers comin' !

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

sleeping positions...........

heck yeah its cold.
I'm stuck at home again tonight with icy roads here in OKC. worked at school all day, ran at the gym for half an hour, but the night job was closed. I'll gripe again at how I hate missing my night job because those are hours that go unpaid....(I have this budget idea to save up for NYC after all!).
So I came home and watched the simpsons twice and fell asleep for a while on the couch. ahh that was nice. then I got up and went to the kitchen table to pay some bills and then write a few post cards. One for my gay buddy in Austin who I mentioned before wanting to make some plans for travel next summer. Anyway I sent him a card to thank him for the package he sent last weekend, an Eames keychain he got for me in NYC while there over new years. And then I sent a post card to Mr. tall dark and handsome in FLorida who I'm still waiting to see if he's meeting me in NYC or not.... well I know I'll have an exciting time there either way really.
I've been looking on amazon tonight to add a book to my wish to buy later list, a friend at work mentioned it to me, "A case against accident and self organization". Apparently this guy argues about the faults in theories of evolution which involve life on earth all starting from a sort of "primordial soup". or something like that. I thought it'd be interesting to read.
I was moving around on the couch trying to keep warm just now and was thinking how I need someone there to lay around on the couch with! And then I started thinking about how when I've had guys stay over and sometimes I feel dumb not knowing where to put my arms or something. isn't that funny? anyway, twice I've had guys sort of say something like, move this way, or put your arm here... etc.. obviously guys who've lived with or had bf's before. unlike this blogger. The best was a friend visiting from Kuwait during last christmas break who stayed over a few times and the first night I was woken up in the middle of the night by this guy just pulling me closer to him and then sort of picking me up to lay on top of him. it was a weird sensation to wake up while being picked up and moved over like that, but of course I went right back to sleep... big tall muscled small town guy like that makes a great pillow..... from what I remember.
hope everyone's having a good week and keeping warm.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007


thought I'd go ahead and post this link to a sad story about a gay athlete highschool student who died in an accident last week. Thanks T. for the comment definitely was worth the read.

new york times article

my alma-matar made it in the New York times last weekend! My time in college remains a highlight of my life. Yes, it was a small private Christian school in the middle of nowhere in Arkansas. However, the student body there were from all over the country and the world, and I always felt accepted by all. We did have rules on campus, such as no drinking, smoking, and no school sponsored dances, among others. While attending this school, I had 5 annual dance parties which grew more and more popular each year. the first three on campus where "spontaneous dancing" just happened to occur during the pary, and the last two, I actually rented out the community building in town and by then it was mainly about the dance. For some reasin I just had a knack for dance music and throwing cool parties, not to mention the money made from all the t-shirts sold each year.
Anyway, all this to say, I was interested to see that after 90 years of no dancing allowed on campus, they had their first dance last december. ALthough the rule now limits to "thematical dancing" or something like that. If you like reading well written seemingly unbiased article you can check it out here:

First Dance - Mark Oppenheimer - New York Times

Sunday, January 28, 2007

sweet comeback

have to give a shout out to Serena Williams being unseeded and then winning the championship match this last weekend in Australia. sweet!

guy from utah (the dude I met at the gym) called this morning while I was at church with my folks. left the number more clearly this time and I called him back this afternoon. ahh yeah! only thing is said he was free tomorrow night and well I work night during the week. maybe some weekend he'll have some free time to stop over. This weekend he was busy with some horse show going on at the fairgrounds. very cool masc and built guy, look forward to getting him over here to hang out, believe it will be worth waiting for we've seen all of each other at the gym a couple times and had some good conversations at the lockers getting dressed or on the floor etc..

I want to clarify that I never meant to suggest that Christianity equals hatred for homosexuals. I don't believe that at all, because really it is all about love. sorry if it came across that way, I'm just speaking about the Christian church today in general when I go on about stuff like that.

I will say thati agree with "love the sinner, hate the sin". I just wish more Christians actually practiced that. One thing that I always catch my family or friends on,( and you can tell me if you've experienced the same if any Christians are reading) is when they condemn something on tv because of something gay. I used to have this conversation with my college roomates or family, and actually just recently with my sister, SHe was talking about watching "sex and the city" and i was saying, wow you really watch that show with them all sleeping around and stuff, and she says something like, well I do turn the channel whenever they have a lesbian part..... SO I tell her, hey that's considered the same sin as them sleeping around with anyone else. hello.... it's just funny, because its so true about how people make religion speak for them when it's convenient. and of course Muslim world does it but Christianity is the same. In the past or even now when I hear any Christian friend complaining about Ellen or Will and Grace, I tell them, how can you watch Cheers , Seinfield, or Friends etc.., there is just as much promiscuous sex going on in those shows the SAME. I call people on it everytime I hear them suddenly on a high horse about how something is GAY and that's why they wouldn't watch etc... when they laugh and watch all sorts of straight tv shows which is all the same when it comes to what the bible says about sex.
I want you guys to know I'm not all that hung-up on it or in any turmoil over this. I mean I admit I'm stagnating on getting out there and finding a relationship and all, and it's true I shoudl be in a bigger city. but I'm pretty much at peace over all, I decided years ago that sinful or not, things I do homosexually can get racked up there with the sort of things any other Christian person does on any given day, speeding, lying, glutton, lustful in a str8 way, dishonesty, etc etc etc. I continue to pray and feel watched over and protected and blessed with my job and family and health.... and I continue to try and live a sort of life where I'm serving others not just serving myself.

SO yeah the gym guy called me and eventually we'll hook up and hopefully it won't be just another notch on his bedpost. I'm actually looking forward to talking about his mormon background and being gay (even though the whole mormon thing sort of terrifies me, it's a Cult after all NOT part of the Christian church) but I also hope this year to find a guy who likes me not just for all the physical part but you know, hang out and watch tv with, run around town with, get outdoors some maybe in the summer? , and sleep with and lay with and wake up with. anyone reading this who HAS a bf must know how great that is. man I always love it. my gf used to stay over a lot in college, we weren't having sex at the time just sleeping and it was awesome, and then on and off certain guys i've tried to see in okc have been over. all good. last time was the ex-navy dude during Christmas break.

UPDATE: no prejuedice to LDS is intended here, I should have written "makes me uncomfortable" instead of "terrifies" which is just saying how I honestly feel based on my own background. I realize the word "cult" may also come across as strong. Perhaps I should have left that out and just said that we both have fundamental religious backgrounds, so it would be cool to discuss and compare.

Same River Twice


title of the movie I rented from blockbuster online this weekend. I saw it like 3 or so years ago with a gay bud here in okc at the art museum, so I was wanting to check it out again. It's a documentary. If you rent it, make sure you don't get the movie of the same name which is fiction and I have no idea about. This documentary really fascinates me in that it show this group of free thinking river guides who spent their summers taking weeks off together in a group of 17 or so people going down the river, stopping and camping and moving on. so cool, oh yeah and they are all naked. I have to say though it's not sensual at all, and this all takes place in '78 while they are all in their late 20's early 30's and although the guys are all in natural good shape, they all have earthy beards and such. but it's so cool the idea of freely being naked and just enjoying the outdoors and a river raft ride down the river all week together, like a communal feel to the whole thing. anyway the documentary show's them 20 years later in modern day and follows five of them showing what became of them all. Its pretty cool to see how many of these free thinking individuals late in life became leaders in environment or community situations. SO if you are up for a good documentary rent it. AND PLEASE if someone's seen the movie tell me now, or come back and let me know what you think if you do rent the film. :)