I don't think I ever blogged about this guy I met in Austin last time i was there, it was one of the weekends i stayed with my buddy there while taking a break from training in San Antonio. Well anyway, i found this guy online who lived a few streets away and was looking to just mess around some, ( meaning i was looking for oral and he was all, heck yeah) so he asked to meet at the side of his house and go to the backyard. was still rather warm in early Nov btw. so I go by there he's wearing sweatpants and a shirt and we got back side of his house between the back of the house and a shed, and start making out and then taking off our shirts and eventually dropping trou.... sort of bending over awkwardly to meet the other guys waist area, if anyone knows what I'm talking about. well eventually I'm on my knees and he's fully satisfied etc...
SO the reason I bring it up is the guy was HOT, worked out gym bod, some hair on his chest all white and smooth and w/ like this straight guy gold chain around his neck. anyway the deal is, he was married. and I went over anyway.
My Austin buddy later called me out on it. And we had a big discussion, he said, you don't think it s a big deal because you as a Christian think the homosexual act is a sin already so you don't care adding another sin to that by messing with a married dude. and it bothered him because he says homosexual or straight marriage is a marriage and should be honored. And that I shoudl be comfortable acting out with guys, but not married guys!.... it makes me love him more that we can be close enough to hold me accountable on stuff like that, because seriouslylwe never bring up my conservative points of view compared to his different views on things ever. on purpose on my account anyway. ha
But I decided to make it a point from ten on to steer clear of married guys after our conversation, because of integrity I guess, and the fact that now that he's been in recovery he does believe in a higher power and that's important to me because i pray for my friend and want to be nothing but supportive, and how can he have any respect for my faith if he sees me messing with married guys which he sees as wrong, regardless of his faith matching completely with mine.... (still with me?)
the above is a preface, because I wanted to mention this blog I read today about bagging a straight guy, which i found interesting over at Falling off a log - blog. There are some points listed about how to stand and act which I found pretty amusing. I guess, because, well you know how some closet dudes are constantly trying to overcompensate on how NOT to look gay.. .. and then you train yourself so that you don't even know what is acting normal or acting over masculine/not gay. check it out if interested.
AS for hot pics of guys married/straight/or not.... this is THE WEEK to be on craigslist. guys travelling all over, people out of town, off work with lots of extra time. THis week was always my luckiest for finding a hot dude when looking on craigslist back when i discovered it online and lived alone.... i'm not saying go hook up on craigslist, but check some big cities and see what guys are posting out there.... filter through the Bull Crap and weird stuff, but in the mix, you always find the sort of not quite sad, but sort of dismaying posts by "bi" or "straight" guys demanding HOT STRAIGHT acting guys to mess with etc...... always makes me wonder do they ever really find their dream "straight" masc hot muscle guy for fun on the side??? maybe in LA or larger cities but I have to think more often not, or they are gay and looking for the str8 type, or they only meet gay guys who try to fake bi so they can hook up with said dude. anyway, now I'm rambling.... but I hope this post gets some constructive and discussive comments.
everyone ready for a new year?
3 comments:
Your story reminds me of an old lady neighbor of mine when I was a child. She would sit outside having her cigarette and coffee breakfast on Sunday mornings as she watched all of the “hypocrites,” as she called them, drive off to church. I was a small child when she said this to me, and it would take a lot of years before I understood her commentary on the faux morality of church goers. Considering that about 75% of America professes a belief in God, does it not seem odd that America is one of the most violent nations the earth has ever seen. What about the sex trade, the whole driving force for the internet in the late 90’s was for porn distribution. Also, about 15% of all American children born have biological fathers other than those listed on their birth certificate, factor in that women can only get pregnant for about 24 hours out of any given month, then you can get an idea of how much sex they are having with multiple men. Think about the number of violent crimes, amount of drug use, the divorce rate, the number of people infected with STD’s, and the list goes on and on. The point is that if just the church goers in America would follow the rules they claim to subscribe to, then almost every social pathology would be virtually eliminated.
I bet you could find some hypocrisy in your recovering addict friend’s life if you had all the facts. I am not going to pretend that it is a good idea to hook up with married guys, but it is also not a good idea to be so hard on ourselves or those around us.
Consider this Dan. I don’t know of a single person that lives by all of the Old Testament rules. How many times after church on Sunday have you seen your fellow church goers go to an All-You-Can-Eat restaurant and indulge in non-kosher foods while thanking God for the opportunity. Don’t forget that Gluttony is mentioned as a sin in the Old Testament about 10x more often than homosexuality. There is something about human behavior that seems to want to form groups and then exclude others from the group, there is something about this behavior that feels really good to most humans. The problem is that the group, church, you have chosen likes to exclude gay people all while indulging in other forbidden activities. Trying to be apart of this group has likely caused you a certain amount of stress, fear, guilt, and perhaps some self hate. None of which is healthy for you or your soul. Also, keep in mind that single people on average live shorter lives and self reported lower quality lives than people who have loving long term relationships. This whole cycle of living a gay fantasy life in your head, then indulging the fantasies on the internet, then randomly hooking up, then feeling guilty and repenting, and repeating the whole process again is really a sad way to spend your life.
Don’t be afraid or ashamed to seek professional help from someone that specializes in sexual identity issues. Self acceptance is the greatest gift that you could give yourself, especially at this point in your life. I wish you the best on your journey.
Happy 08 buddy.
Just gotta say that, for the first 2 years I was out, I didn't touch a married guy, and had decided it was wrong, etc (I actually preferred other married guys when I was married myself.) But in the last few months I've started to see it really differently. I'm REALLY thankful for the guys who did get together with me while I was married . . . if they hadn't I would still be a pretty miserable person, 100%. So for me anyway, well, I've liften the prohibition. At the same time, I have zero interest in it; would much rather meet someone I can actuallly date . . . :)
Nice theory that, because you feel like you're already sinning with the homosexual act, crossing the marriage line isn't so taboo.
Also, Speedy gives us a very interesting point-of-view on the matter. Maybe you were doing the guy—and maybe ultimately his wife—a favor?? He comes out, the divorce and are ultimately both happier for it in the long run? Yeah, you're making a lot of assumptions there, but it's worth a thought or two. Things aren't always black and white.
Nothing Golden Stays
Post a Comment