is my dad always talking about setting me up with someone. I'm not griping or anything, I mean its my choice to not share all my current relational motivations with my parents. Did anyone else do the family thing this weekend and have the usual conversation about getting set up with some one or asked when you're going to settle down? Well I know that is a freedom that readers who are OUT and PROUD and all that can enjoy. I know of some guys whose parents get after them to find one committed guy relationship also. I think parents who are happily coupled or married really just want their kids to experience the same sort of happiness of having a life partner, mate, spouse etc..
Actually my parents and family have stopped bringing up me dating anyone or getting married much at all. But there was a new single girl who started working at my dad's work and commented on a picture of me in his office I guess. I think they, like me, probably consider my last gf my last hope at getting married to a girl. who knows.
I remember coming to a sort of realization about my dad, at some point in colege after a separate "men's" chapel service. I was looking at him from the point of view as a person and how he grew up on a farm with my grandad, a mennonite swiss/German farmer, up in north Oklahoma small town. And basically I started to sort of think about how completely different we were, and how we didn't understand each other, and then think about how he show'd his love in different ways then I wanted to receive it...etc etc etc. for example being touched or being told once in a while. ANd I considered how stern my grandfather was and probably never modeled a whole lot of obvious displays of affection towards my dad. But I have to say my dad would always want to work on or fix my car, ask where I was going or where I'd be, offer gas money always. I don't know, all the practical things. I mean he's an engineer type minded guy and I was an English major.
ALthough I have to say i can relate a lot more to his practical side the more I've "grown up". I also get a kick out of seeing my mom do stuff like me or stuff I'd never do, and the same with my dad. I feel just like him when I try to be clever or handy around the house, fix my car, want a project to keep busy with. I also see the parts I have that annoy me in both of them. anyway, probably this is normal for most people. But it was sort of a growing up thing for me, while I was trying to figure myself out and deal with all these weird feelings and expectations and trying to decide if I was gay or what and I know I didn't want to be like anything gay I saw in a movie or on tv. And then realizing where my parents were coming from and sort of take responsibility for who I was going to be regardless of what I thought they wanted, and sort of accept them for who they were if I ever expected to accept me for whatever I was. etc, anyway if that makes sense, or if you ever experience something similar.
well I hope it was a good Easter weekend for all.
1 comment:
Interesting post.
I have read your blog for awhile and do not understand your turmoil about coming out to your family. Call me "chicken", but I have never had "the talk" with my family. My family knows I share a house and bed with my partner. My niece calls him "uncle", too. They know I am liberal on social issues and I send emails re: equal rights.
I do not see my sexuality as an issue. Our love is unconditional.
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