usually this time of year I'm setting goals of no porn(or less), no jerking, and definitley no more looking at guys, and it usually last a while like even up til spring break before. but this year.... I'm not even motivated to try to bother. blah.
of course it's not like I'm making any move to find a boyfriend either. in the past not looking at guys was supposed to keep me thinking about meeting the right girl and all. but I don't know how I am supposed to meet the right guy anyway, stuck in this city. I have decided to just work out as much as possible and save money and then get back to dallas to look around at the guys there maybe more my type. I DON"T KNOW. but I guess i'm just getting used to all my buds living other places and /or married. One thing I have decided for the new year is to maybe branch out a little and make more gay friends in okc, and by that I mean hang out, get asked to places etc.. maybe. dont' they say the best relationships start from great friendships? I mean can't that be maybe true for dudes, instead of starting with a horny suck off or jerk off.
I think I'm also maybe missing out on something by not having a cell phone. I guess when cells and pagers were new I thought they were stupid and vain and like, for drug dealers or people trying to just show off they could afford one,and walk around talk obnoxiously loud etc... so I never wanted to be "that guy". But I can see my practical frugal sense of not taking on excessive expenditures (i am a teacher after all) may have to bite the bullet and consider it. actually I could replace the monthly dudesoffcampus and gay.com fees with a cellphone fee makes perfect sense.
I also want to start volunteering at the hospice down the street from where I live in okc. I know there are times on the weekend when I have free time and would enjoy going to visit the patients there, jsut talk or play a game of cards or the piano maybe. I have called a few times the last few years about the steps I need to take. ever since my singles group went caroling there 2 years ago ( because i totally hate doing only the once a year nice holiday thing). now if I could just go by and get the application, fill it out and see how I could be of use, thats another goal this year.
I'm not sure if I already mentioned I've decided another thing i want to do this year is for once in my life visit NYC. so the sooner the better. I am going to research for Feb 24th or March 3rd, and plan to get tickets to "spring awakening" so that I can see it in person with the actual actors on the soundtrack etc etc... I've searched some about the tickets and flight, any suggestions how/where to find a place to stay? ALSO what else to see and do besides shop H&M on upper east side????
any comments out there? later.