Saturday, August 05, 2006

first date

just got home, I mentioned this guy I've been emailing last week, and had a lot in common with and tonight we talked on the phone and decided to go to Starbucks, yeah how original... anyway, damn he looks good, cute cute irish eyes and face and smile. and he's got some great grins and expressions when he tells a story, well we both like international travel and cultures, both middle children, our faith a center in our lives, birthdays in July, although he is 10 years younger... man istarted getting hard when he was talking about having his nipples pierced a few years ago, adn how when he quit wearing them his nips all the more sensitive... that drives me crazy because I love to get my mouth on nipples, guys or gals, i guess cause mine drive me so crazy as well. anyway, we spoke for about an hour and half, and then a half hour more while standing by his car, and I was telling how great loking he is and started getting excited again and had to turn around and face my truck as I said goodbye adn walked away. We have plans to call tomorrow afternoon and hang out some more, this time hopefully just here at my place. so overall a great get to know you first date, and I'm actually looking for seeing him again. i was checking out his short cut hair and the whole time thinking, man I can't wait to get my hand rubbing all over the top and back of his head. he's got some nice broad shoulders from working at a moving company all summer, couldn't see his butt cause he had jeans on with an untucked shirt. Am I really awful for thinking on the way home how he could be even hotter if he started to hit the gym with me this fall.. he he.. nah seriously I"m into him as is. WE both like foreign films and independant films and maybe going to rent something tomorrow night, or we also talked about going to see Jim TUcker must die? I think I'd rather have him here at my place getting to know each other some more though. the funny thing is he just had mouth surgery so he can't really open his mouth up much for a while, so I'm not sure if there will be any kissing going on for a while. no prob, worth the wait. Oh yeah he also lives less than a mile down the street, this guy is masc, really laid back and casual, and just himself. just my style.

pecs......




Friday, August 04, 2006

If you haven't read Matt's blog yet....

He gets some REALLY good discussion going,

--- if you're just here for pics, then scroll down,
---if you're gay and could care less what anyone else calls themself -- gay or bi etc..., scroll down.

otherwise.. If you are in the mood for reading something sort of thought provoking about bisexuality then read today's post on "Debreifing the Boy"

I'm posting my two cents here:

wow matt, LOVE seeing something I consider taboo to EVER bring up in a gay crowd. I see a lot of hostility from some gay guys about guys using terms like bisexual or discreet or str8 acting(or masculine only), they so urgently want to force them out as a gay man only, no in between. Perhaps they think if every guy who has ever considered dick were suddenly exposed, then the world would see how many guys maybe would consider it, and then gays would suddenly be accepted as normal as anytyhing else and all of society's views of homosexuality would be solved.Truth is not every guy who's ever ever experienced cock recreation and fun is flat out gay.

I'll add only a few more thoughts.

All guys obviously have an apprecitation for the penis, because all males have one to play with and make feel really really good, regardless of orientation. fascination with one's own penis or others' may not mean a guy is flat out gay although it could create a lot of curiosity in any guy. what else makes it feel good? this girl? this guy? this piece of bologna? this 10 pond barbell weight? the washing machine? this chicken?....etc etc..
What about guys in prison who have sex and enjoy it, what does that say about their dna? They become gay or turned gay or is the criminal gene in the dna attached to gay?
what about the guys who just want to suck and never fuck?
Or the guy who is so completely comfortable with his bud that they can get off together stroking because it is the same as stroking alone -- has nothing to do with being gay just sharing something a guy does for fun?does everything have to be only Gay? NO, too many varieties, situations, needs, wants, colors , hues, peoples, traditions, values, etc.. etc..

ahhh frat life....

if you let your fellow cocksuckers know you are engaged to some girl, better prepare to suffer........




labor day plans.....

last year labor day weekend, was a real blast in Austin TX and the city was packed with a lot of gay guys who had planned to go to new orleans for southern decadence. well I noticed this morning on a few sites that Southern Decadance is back on this summer Labor day weekend in New Orleans, and I'm just wondering if that many guys are going to turn out. OF course, really I'm just hoping that Austin will be packed again because I'm going back down labor day weekend this year, and my bud already has tickets for us on one of the party boats on the lake... shweet!
I don't know, I mean I've always been curious to check out the debauchery of Sout.Dec. but come on people , the national guard had to be called in there because of the flat-out daytime robberies, rise in murder rate despite half the pop down from last year, and lawlessness in general in that town, maybe the hardcore pnp gay crowd will just show up anywhere for a good time. Just yesterday the radio reported the increase in concealed weapons permits in NO as the highest in the nation currently, think I'll stick with Austin. anyone going to New O., just wondering?

ahhhh... amateur pics... nothing better




Thursday, August 03, 2006

never before

I've never ever ever ever before considered asking a guy out on an actual date. hard enough to meet guys I'd even be interested in for one thing, but the other is that I'm nto out so why bother even pursuing a relationship with a guy in the first place. Well I've found that leaves you like all the other gay guys who don't come out of the closet, just sleeping around with guys with some physical fun only, and none of the emotional or social benefits.
You may remember I have a new computer, so while I was online this last weekend messing around figuring it all out, I went ahead and logged into one of my old screen names and chat rooms for chatting, cruising really, for other guys. This one guy chats with me and turns out he goes to the college three blocks down the street from my house. SWEET, oh yeah also his face is really cute, average height, brown hair blue eyes, he's this all around good guy R.A. in his dorm, masc or butch or whatever, and is completely closeted at school, and dealing with the whole Private Christian college and Christian upbringing thing and being gay, damn sounds real familiar! I can't wait to take this guy out for lunch or dinner or movie or anything...
so yeah he's about ten years younger than me and although he really liked my pics, I think I want to take it really slow and easy, and just get to know the guy. I would really really really like having a bud just to hang around with now and then. I'm already fantasizing about laying on my couch with this guy and watching a movie.. ahhhh.... And even if we dont' end up getting physical, I'd still like to befriend this guy just so we can both have someone to actually talk tol. how cool would that be. we've been emailing all week, on account of his mouth not moving much from tooth surgery, but I got his cell # and wil call him tonight or tomorrow night.
one small step to admitting something, although on the other hand, I got to tell ya I was thinking Julia ROberts was looking really really good on tv yesterday, like I said, feels like spring or my hormones are just kicked up a bit from all the workouts, I don't know. later.

a place called "the cave"






Wednesday, August 02, 2006

For AUSSIES only...

well not really, but in honor of all them great Aussie blogs, like my some of my favorites -- Down Underpants and Aussieliscious-- I thought I'd try to use some words from Australia. This a bunch of "strine" I tried to write into a paragraph for "y'all". If it doesn't make sense, and i could be terribly wrong the way I'm using it but, well I tried, just sharing some love.......................hope you like.

My arvo had been real busy. I was out having some tucker with friends when a couple of handsome blow-ins rock-up at the bar, , a seppo from the big smoke with plenty of big bikkie, and a young skippy, nice looking bluey. Guess they were out fossicking around for some fun. I caught the eyes of one of the tall poppies. A big built bloke who I wouldn’t mind seeing in his togs. He took off his sunnies and ordered some fosters, handed me a tinnie and said hello. “Tar,” I say. “Whadayaknow,” he says, and we begin to yabber for a tick.
There was too much dead horse on my sanga so I threw it in the rubbish.
He was doing an Aussie salute what with all the blowies around.
I drank the beer, but I didn’t want to be full as a boot. I was not looking to drink a slab of grog or just skull down the amber nectar and become blotto all night. I’m no larrikin, and no galah either. I was feeling a bit toey so I asked this guy to come back for drinks at my place. He was a real ridgie didge, a dinkie-di all right. Not like some wombat just looking to drink, root and leave. Without a barney, he quickly agreed, gave a hoo-roo to his mate and we left. He gives me a pash before starting his car and go to my place. While driving we had to chuck a U-ie because of a bingle blocking the road. What a nong, as my old cheese would say. I’m no sticky beak but I can tell that wally had no idea where he was going, hit a swagman right in the middle of the street.
I just wanted to get his duds off and squiz this guy all over. I hollered out a struth and began having some fun.

INSPIRATION..... now sign off and go hit the gym!





personally I prefer the guy next door who's not just gym built but gets it form sports and hard work, but yeah these guys looking pretty dang good. I like to swim laps and bike to keep my body athletic looking not just gym built, also that's why I like to get out in the sun and do yard work. just saying, anyway enjoy the pics, I got the fashion link from Made in Brazil, check it out sometime.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

new computer..... old habits of killing time




well I did some chatting online last night with one of these guys who was actually IN OKC, wow...., the other two are from cl.

Monday, July 31, 2006

there's this trainer at my gym......





played basketball at OSU, stillwater OK , 02 - 04 ---GO COWBOYS!--- then went and played in Finland until I guess about a year ago when an injury brought him back to OKC. anyway, this guy is pretty cool, doesn't say much, but looks damn good in the gym, I don't know but I go crazy for the very tall clean cut type. this guy is 6'8 or 6'9 and prolly around 24. I'm the type of guy that won't say anything because I see too many guys I know are gay making small talk. But yeah, I HAVE had conversations with this guy, sports injury stuff and then more lately about how he lived in Finland and learned the language a little, ( my only in since I've also lived overseas and speak another language). but like I say usually we just grin wave or say "hey". completely straight as far I can say, I mean the way he is smiling and talking to girls in the gym all the time, it's pretty obvious, oh yeah also since he's not ever looking at me.. ha. nah, j/k
anyway he has checked me out in the locker rooms before but all guys do that so doesn't really mean anything, and yeah he looks pretty good in a towell. later.

what if ....

While running laps around the indoor track before my workout today I was thinking about gay marriage and how if the laws would mean that I could marry a guy who is not a citizen and then get him citizenship through the marriage. And then I thought if that would start happening a lot and how in the movies they always show them interviewing couples to prove it s a real marriage, and I was wondering what it would be like interviewing two guys, and was laughing at the different situations that would ensue,( sort of like str8 guys friends I've known who are always together, best buds or live together, and they sometimes would bitch and gripe like married couples, that always cracks me up, so great). anyway, those days are prolly way far ahead in this country considering the whole adoption issue presently, and even if it becomes legal, I'm not really sure everything would ever apply the same. possibly someday. anyway I wanted to post about it, any thoughts anyone???

oh yeah also, I ran into a guy at Best Buy last weekend who said he's set aside $25,000 to prepare adoption process for a baby girl from the Ukraine. He said he didn't want a son because of the stigma the kid would have of having a gay dad, which I dont get because any girl or boy could grow up and deal with it equally but then again I guess it might be different I don't know.

Have I Emailed you?

IF so, I guess I sort of trust you enough to use my personal email to send you a message, anyway, if you want to search that email addy on myspace.com you can see my face pics and who I'm friends with obviously and then even a link to my real blog . ( You have until tomorrow morning to find it)
the reason I'm posting this is because I've decided to change it and use a different addy on Myspace just in case I'm ever tracked back to myspace or to my blog with my real name and which is all about the real me, or should i say the other side of me, gay side kept undercover..( for now anyway no need to preach).... later.

working out works I guess.....

I've been getting into shape this summer and so when my friend calle dme to go out this weekend, and its been a while, I decided i would and wear my "lucky" tight t-shirt and comfy fitted jeans and flip-flops. I'm going to post it since we got some good nighttime confessions out of stephano and sandro this weekend. mine is no where near as exciting as those studs though.....

I went out to some bars last weekend with my bud S. who is all closet with family and work. anyway this little frat boy looking latin guy comes up and talks to him while I'm on the other side of the bar trying to catch eyes with this built muscle guy, but I can't tell if he's straight and there with his gourp of friends, or if the taller guy in the group is his bf or what.
I go back to S. and he introduces me to M. who thinks I'm cute. I had noticed him earlier but I am pretty picky even though this guy is really hot and cute, most younger guys want a one nighter fuck, and usually if I'm looking for a one nighter then I'm wanting just contact, makeout, oral etc.... well I talk to him, and I had some beers, and we are satnding close, and I can feel how hard and tight his body is chest waist back side etc...turns out he's 27 and from a rural OK town and has a cute country accent and nice dark looks.

side note: the muscle guy eventually come and sits alone right by the wall directly behind my and waits about 3 minutes while we stare at each other but by then M. has his hands all over me and we are talking and by then he's not going anywhere so the muscle guy takes the bar stool and goes back over with his group.. dang!.......

I tell M to give me his number 'cause I'm leaving, then he walks me to my car, then we talk about he doesn't do one night stands, and broke up a year ago after a 7 year bf, and we talk more and I say how I've never had a relationship at all 'cause i'm not out etc... i drive him to where his shiny red GMC truck is parked and then we decide he can stay the night and we'll just cuddle and stuff. hard choice 'cause I know I'm really kind of jsut wanting some company for the night and he's looking for his next bf, ahh well........
so he follows me home, stays over, I am dead beat and wanting to sleep, he wants to make out, so we do some then sleep, wake up in the middle of the night and kiss some more and roll around, you know the usual, in the morning we are really hands on equipment, and he makes a comment about my "monster" which I've heard before..
(small victory-- I've finally learned to just say thanks and move on, because before if a guy comments I'd say "whatever, it's same as most guys", and I think maybe that sounds like I'm just fishing for more comments about my size, because yeah who doesn't like to hear people compliment about that sort of thing, so decided last spring to just say thanks)....anyway...., and we are grinding some, he says, man he'd really like to do a lot more, and I say how I explained myself last night about not wanting a one nighter or not into having sex sex with guys, and then he comments , dude are you even really gay(which doesn't win him any points--as matt would say), and I'm thinking what's that supposed to mean we just slept the night together all over each other, his briefs never come off, and I'm still groggy but in a good horned up way getting about 4 or 5 hours sleep over all . I get up and eat breakfast, get him out of the house, and now I have to call him regardless since I found his bracelet and neckband on my dresser this morning.

I guess that's a good break to my dry spell with guys, I haven't messed around all summer since my weekend in Austin, and I thought the next would be labor day weekend in austin for my next adventure.... later.

PS. I think I'm going to tell S. that we should hit some str8 bars for a while, are the guys really better looking there or is it just that I'm in OKC..!