Thursday, July 20, 2006

cool dude

just a few tame pics before I'm about to leave work and start my weekend. Anyone got a suggestion for which Dell computer I shoudl buy this weekend ??? I'm going for whatever is cheapest but is middle of the road or better on mem capacity. later.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

not sure how much I'll be posting pic-wise for a while

blogs are not blocked at my computer here at my part time job where i sit in front of a computer for 7 or 9 hours 4 days a week. the pay is $19 an hour so I am really used to the extra income and would hate to lose this job.
although blogs are not blocked, obviously there is a lot of in appropriate content on many blogs, considering I am at work. well you know how one thing leads to another, and with all the video clips going up on these blogs, it seems that many of the clips link back to adult sites that show up on checklist monitored by IT here at my job. A flag went up last thursday, and a history report was done, and I was called into my boss's office with his boss's boss gving me a write up reprimand, and asking please stay off of any inapropriate sites in the future. DAMN that was emabarassing because I consider myself a hard working intelligent professional guy beyond reproach at work etc... and here I behave really ignorantly. UGHH, anyway, my boss and I still remain friends and both men said, hey we're all guys here, none of us are beyond making these mistakes. and they encouraged me that I am a valuable part of the program here and we will move on from here leaving it in the past, not to be mentioned. man that sucked!

needless to say, I'll prolly finally buy a computer of my own this weekend, and posts may be intermittent here for a while, or at least not many amateur pics for a while. be patient guys.
Actually it's a good time to turn over a new leaf and self reflect, my birthday is tomorrow -- the same date as man first walked on the moon! But no real celebrating until this weekend. dinner with the folks, my buddy is in town from austin so we'll go out, and hopefully my other "bud" in Austin may also be in town .sweet! enjoy summer all!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006


something just happened at work. may be a while before I post anything. later....

just me here

prolly most guys are just checking pics on here, but I'll be doing some random posts between the pics for a while, I want to get some thought s and ideas out, and writing them here helps me organize and situate my mind and what direction I'm going. and just maybe someone out there might even struggle with same or wonder the same things etc.... anyway since I added the over 18 warning yesterday.... I wanted to write down a few personal sex confessions.
I never usually climax with guys.
in fact I only have a few times, and its only when I'm jerking it and they are sort of patiently waiting. man that sucks. I am not sure what sort of hang up I am having. and although I'm pretty big size and guys always want to suck it, sometimes I can only take a bit of sucking before losing the erection some. I don't aggressively try to hook up with guys much because I figure I'll be pretty boring if they're wanting some big time. I really prefer just making out and stroking more than anything, and oral of course, although I can not really get into me rimming at all, just cant. I've never been topped, as they say, and have never really had sex with a guy other than a couple guys trying to take it in and then climaxing immediately, but I don't really like that either, with a girl it's a lot easier, smooth motion and rhythm ,and natural and just feels awesome. Also when considering meeting guys and stuff, I get all excited when the guy is making the move on me, starting up the conversation, or showing me a signal, or actually reaching down or grabbing a feel of something etc.. thats the part that gets me crazy, and the follow through is only hot hot hot is the guy is really hot, otherwise, I get all nervous and bored with the motions sometimes, i don't know, For some reason the most exciting part is the hunt more than the kill. if you know what I mean.
I am growing more concerned in figuring out what I want now that I'm over 30 and have really been checking out the gay thing ever since out of college. I realize that trying to keep everything in the closet has prolly hurt me most by not actively pursuing an actual relationship with any male, however I can't say that I've ever met one hot enough and in the same situation as me that I've ever fallen for or whatever. My thing with guys has remained pretty much a physical one, although in college I can say I prolly had some crushes on a few buds who I either had mesed around with, or guys who'd lead me to think they would.
I've had only 2 actual gf 's during college, and one serious 3 year gf after college which ended 2 years ago. I haven't really looked for another since I'm in to guys anyway and not ready to mix all that up with the way I more or less live my life as a non-gay person. what's tough is all my college buds are married and so I really am ready to start doing couple stuff with all of them, but I'm just one not a couple. I am beginning to play around with the idea again of going to str8 bars to meet a girl (or an actual hot guy my type), jsut to get out there , the guys at the gay bars are lame lame lame (in okc), sorry it's true.
I have some str8 buds to hang out with on weekends but they are all from my singles group (like my trainer)and none are drinkers so we don't hit any clubs or anything.

Monday, July 17, 2006

guys... well,.... I like 'em nice and clean!

a new york movie renting weekend

I rented the Rescue Me first season on dvd this weekend. It started with just a couple movies and the first DVD of the three. I rented "the 40 year old virgin" because I'd never seen it and wanted to be up with American culture since it seemed like all the senior boys had seen it,( for example after I made the mistake of proudly mentioning I'd been to the Coldplay concert.)
I also rented the movie "rent" which is a pretty gay choice I realize since its a musical, but I live alone and I was given the soundtrack a long time which I will admit I like.
anyway, I had seen on "DUDETUBE" some video clips of the younger firefighter "Mike" or who they call "probie" since he's on probation during he first year as firefighter. This character Mike has some seens where he leans up against his hot male roomate, and another one his roomate is giving him a blowjob ( off camera ), but still, makes for some interesting tv content. Well I have to say if anyone likes seeing a bunch of guys, at times shirtless, and always talking sex, this series is for you and you need to check it out! It completely gay friendly in that there are always gay jokes mentioned or gay characters involved or mentioned, I mean really strange.
However, there is also a lot of violence and drama considering these are fighfighters dealing with PTSD after 9/11/01. Well I was disapointed to find that the gay storyline doesn't happen till season two. BUT there was plenty content going on, guys talking bout how they measure up, guy storking in the John ( off camera) girl handcuffing guy to bed and riding him, young guy tricked into a three way, etc and the first season gave a VERY good intro to all the characters and a lot of Probie and Sean and Franco, who popped up in my imagination twice already while considering them in different sort of situations away from the firehouse.........
--disclaimer-- I however completely do NOT condone the subject content involving drug use or attempted rape.
Does anyone know when season 2 comes out for rent on DVD?

The movie RENT, not so great, I hadn't seen it yet on purpose, I took my gf a few years ago to the broadway musical showing here in OKC.... and that was great on stage, but the movie was like I had already heard, using some original actors who are all a bit old for their parts, and really I think the worst thing that ruind the movie is the direction and camera work!! (is it called cinemaphotography?) I mean it was really bad, they would be dancing and singing on screen and the camera just flips back and forth to the person singing, the person watching, person dancing on camera, then off camera, then back on. way too choppy and completely awful the whole movie. and camera work is something I wouldn't even normally notice in a film serious.

If anyone is from new york city I was wondering if people dress up in costumes on new years eve as a tradition or something? they did in the movie... just wondering.....

a few random pics...

i guess now is a good time to add the over 18 only warning on my profile, that's a law right? These 2 pictures create a lot of questions huh.........