Saturday, July 08, 2006

another closet saturday night....

staying with my straight married buddy this weekend in a rkansas. his wife came back this evening and we had dinner together then watched a french film. it's been an awesome time hanging out with him since thursday, lots of running around, and shopping, and arguing and joking and getting into discussions etcc.. today furniture shopping and "Pirates of Carr ibean" it is really good, the effects and camera work, basically just a fun ride of movie. If it weren't such a great movie, one might say the set designs and costumes are campy, but with the great special effects nowadays it all seems to fit just right.
I worked out Friday morning at my former college health complex, NO ONE there in the summers though, but it was fun to work out on all the same machines, since i was a stick in college and 35 pounds lighter. It is also fun to get back into college town and on campus and just feel a lot more confident and comfortable with who I am, than back during college when I was anxious and insecure and had no idea where I wanted to go in life or why. I'm still working out a lot of issues, of course, but I have a comfortable life and life goals, just need to work on comforting my heart with/and giving it to the right person at this point I guess.
sorry no pics posting tonight, I'm on their computer here, and I'm not exactly sure that erasing the history on "tools, internet options" will seriously erase that I've even been to this blog of mine. does anyone know if that should pretty much erase all traces of all the gay blogs I've been checking tonight including this one?...let's hope so.....later.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

underwear party








---getting a lot of pics posted today since I'm going out of town tomorrow for a 4 day weekend with a married buddy who lives in AR. Looking forward to just chilling out, renting or going out to movies, shopping, catching up and all that, just good to get out of the city for a while. hope all have a great weekend

outdoor training always good






bring the boys back home!








no disrespect to those serving our nation in the military, but you know there are some confused closet types in the military as much as anywhere else, hot or not, there are some fine men and women risking their lives daily in service to our country. I really miss all the military guys I've met or used to see online back before 9/11 and Iraq from Tinker Air Force base here in OKC. I could always spot them out at the gay bars back then, the military cut, sensible brown shoes, jeans or jean shorts, and a plain striped indistinct polo shirt, in small safe groups of 3 or 4. Wish they'd get back soon. while I'm at it, not to be a downer, but I often think there are just as many beauitful young Iraqi men defending Iraq against insurgents and perhaps just citizens that become victims from all the mess going on there. Apparently the war on Terror will never really end, but I hope that Iraq can stand up SOON and defend itself so we can get the boys back home!

Now, go read this blog by an actual soldier in Iraq....(Or just leave a comment..)

where's my "Eddie" ?

a fellow blogger recently mentioned his bf leaving the country for a while, and how much they'd miss each other etc... anyway, got me to thinking, how can I possibly find me a bf in this town stuck in the midwest. Well since I'm in the closet and all, I don't guess I've ever really had a "boy friend" or even considered having one. I sort have always wished for that perfect scenario that it seems like all the closet cases online are looking for, a regular bud to hook up with and even hang out with all the time, as long as they act masculine and no one would suspect one or the other is gay. ( heaven forbid!). well that may or may not be true, but really I think a guy who just has goals in life and is a very cool smart masculine gay dude, sure, but is secure enough in life that being gay is a part of his life, and not the focus of his life. For example, the guys who go out to bars constantly and are contantly looking for the next guy to hook up with etc.. and their whole world is stuck in the gay community only. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I feel it could be limiting, and especially in okc where the community is small. On the other hand I realize that if I participated a little more in the gay community I would be meeting more guys besides the ones that only go to bars.

I have a friend in Austin I visit now and then, and he used to meet all sorts of guys down there, there is a huge social scene with tons of different gay circles and he is still meeting gay guys for the first time from that town after living there several years. how cool is that.( Of course he meets plenty UT boys also from online, also SHWWET, he he) the place is more relaxed and always tons of events and activities to do etc down there.

I've met one guy in TX and one in FL that I think I could actually "date" or go steady with or whatever, I guess I'm trying to say, have as a bf. I guess I've just never thought it'd be a reality to have one. I grew up raised that a guy and girl should wait til marraige, and then sleep only with each other. I think I have a lot of romantid ideas that if I were going to give my heart to some guy I'd expect the same.

Monday, July 03, 2006

summer sons







when it's not always easy.....

well, downunderpants already linked to this but I thought I'd also link to it, just 'cause it's sort of an intersting web-video testimony and gives a view into what young gay guys deal with, and how much stronger they end up being as an individual because they are left alone making it painful and difficult on everyone instead of smoother, which you'd think the parents would prefer with people they love.
here's the link to "
Inside I'm Dancing"