I've gotten into the habit of reading a few other blogs online while at work. usually only the safe for work ones without too many pics etc.. anyway, I was just thinking how Eric from "I see things in widescreen" mentioned he was at UCLA working a camp this summer, and Matt from "Debriefing the boy" is living near UCLA and working out at the gym there, and now I'm sort of just waiting to see when this summer the two shall meet. I don't mean hook up, jsut meet up and will we ever hear about it, they both seem so laid back and cool and open to just meeting other guys coming out and dealing with it etc. so time shall tell, but I want you guys to know I'm rooting for ya.
Meanwhile back in the midwest, I'm getting to the gym today and then see a movie "Devil in Prada" tonight, not to stereotype, but how many straight guys you think will be seeing that one?
Hey I'm just a real fan of Meryl Streep, what's wrong with that. ha! :) ( I've also been told recently that straight guys don't use smiley faces in emails, labels labels labels, people shut up and quit trying to stereotype and categorize everybody already, dang) although, yeah I know sometimes the shoe does fit....anyway...
The thing is I hate all these "social rules" because it limits everybody from just being themselves, Probably there are a lot more straight guys afraid to look gay, whatever that is, than there are gay guys afraid to look straight. ( come on you know any gay guy loves being asked if he's straight, right? I do anyway) . It bothers me because even if guys are straight, they should have the freedom of being expressive and artistic or creative as much as anybody without having to stifle anything out of fear or shame of being assumed gay, and this should be true for gay boys who don't wish to join every activist or political issue, as well the assumption that every gay automatically has abandoned their faith or religious point of view. I think some people assume its all or nothing, one side of the fence or the other, no in between. Well that's only true in the bed people, nothing else.
Do Americans only feel safe once we can put each other in a box and assign labels; Is the gay community any different? I'd hope so, since they expect to be accepted equally regardless of sexual orientation. and perhaps the whole pride thing is a celebration of that acceptance of people regardless of anything, which is why it brings out the cross-dressing, outrageous outfits, leather, chubs, glamour, flair, transgender etc etc.. However race and ethnicity stereotypes among the gay or straight crowd do remain.
I teach a handful of students from other countries English during the public school year. I can think of a few from India, brand new, and they are so happy and friendly and kind usally coming from Christian families ( although everyone assumes Hindi because they are brown), and really beautiful. They already speak some English because it's taught in India. They smile and are animated and expressive when speaking (and of course I sort of monitor their stages of adapting to the culture, the stages of loving it, hating it, then adjusting to somewhere in between of liking some new things, and holding on with pride some of the old).
Well, it's sad when a student comes and asks me, " Mr. $#@ , what does camel-jockey mean?" or "what does sand-nigger mean?" OR when I hear some one in the hall imitating the Indian guy from the Simpsons when they walk by.. nothing get's me hotter. Or the challenge of getting the new Vietnamese girl to make friends because the AmerAsian students have parents with money and she's FOB and not part of their crowd etc..I'm the nicest most peaceful laid back cheerful guy you'll ever meet, but nothing turns this hard body stud into an angry drama queen any quicker than one of my kids being exposed to that. I'm worse than a parent would be, I consider my job as a complete advocate for these students!
There is a sort of innocence they have to lose, and I've seen them 6 months into school when they are not as open smiled to every student, and they indeed learn that the only place to sit at alunch would be the Indian table or the Asian table. ( although I always APPLAUD and encourage greatly those who break the barriers and seek out being friends with white kids and sitting at any table) One new high-school boy last semester wore his jeans and shirts from India a bit more tight fitted than the American style (extreme-casual, why-bother-dressing-up-for-school style) and within the first month begin getting called gay in class. He was so nervous having the conversation with me and asking me why I didn't tell him not to dress that way, and he wore lose jeans and larger amercian t0-shirts every day after that. poor guy, I thought he looked sharply dressed and figured his Indian friends would mention it to him if there was a problem, well apparently they finally did when he didn't understand what was goin on in class but other students with better English did.
Obviously all the fear and anxiety of acceptance I grew up with in high school is what gets me so hot defending anybody at this point...(btw, these are just thoughts, I'm not trying to argue anything)
4 comments:
I think thats a really nice post, very insightful. It gives us a better picture of who you are. With each post you do, we learn a little more. You started off as Mr Muscle and now we are started to see the heart muscle. How gay of you ;-). Keep it up big feller!!
I saw some very similar problems when i taught a bit in public schools in the bronx. It's becoming a bit of a problem in some places, because the teachers and adults in the communities don't prevent the children from learning stereotypes and cause ignorance. When I started with a new group each year, I always started with the everyone is special, and some people may look different lesson
I totally get where you are coming from! I hate it when I see teasing of any kind, but racism really gets to me. This is why I love summer camp. I have the power to influence the kids that I take care of a lot more because I am with these kids 24/7. I have a lot of international kids and staff, so I am always on constant watch for teasing and stuff.
I have found that the trick to getting people to listen to me is by changing the way I approach the subject. Everybody hates to be called out (both the victim and the teaser) so like everyting else that I do in life, I take a nonconfrontational approach. They never see it coming.
ps
I posted about you last week. Did you read it? You were my hero for the day! Just in case you didn't know.
i'm half PR and Filipino i was born in PR and grew up in the
Phil. now check this out most gay boys over there only sleeps with the so-called "straight boys" because they obviously want someone masculine or something which i completely understand, i was hanging out with a bunch of straight boys over there and had an affair with one of them, he is now married to a women and has children,by the way he was my first experience ever it was HOT anyway here in USA people just to mind thir own business but ofcourse everyone except me i guess is in everyones business and obviously the society is messed up thinking that to be gay is wrong, a sin blah blah blah they jusy don't know when to stop and i guess to think that we need to respect/accept one another but when it comes to the gay community what annoys me the most is stereo typing anyone that is not a muscle boy or too feminine blah blah blah i mean i think it has to start from all of us too to accept one another because not eveyone is going or want to be a muscle boy for instance like myself i am a slim built with muscles and truly when i moved here in NY i was like WTF? so now i need to take steroids too to fit in? HELL NO i work out but i will never be a muscle boy and don't want to be anyway my bf is italian and he is my all american dream men and i realised that someway somehow i will get what i want if i move to NYC. iguess i consider myself a femboy but even my bf doesn't even think so meaning he just think of me as his boy.
anyway now i just live my life the way i want to despite of what others think of me. it is truly the best thing anyone can do for themselves rather than paying attention to what anyone thinks
take care everyone.....
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